Quick Birth Story

I woke at 1AM Sunday with strong contractions that were stopping me in my tracks. They were 7 min apart. Knowing that it could be a while still, I let Brian sleep and worked my way through on my own. By 3AM, they were getting closer together so I woke Brian. He started to get everything together as I continued to work my way through, standing the entire time as no other position was comfortable. I didn't want to head to the birth center too early so we waited as long as possible (plus I felt bad about waking the midwife early on Sunday morning). By 5:30AM I had contractions that were 4-5 min apart for at least 2 hrs, so we called. We were to meet the midwife at the birth center within 45 minutes or so.

I think I hit transition in the car. It was uncomfortable to be sitting anyway, but then the contractions started to come every 2-3 minutes and they were extremely painful. I vocalized the whole way to the hospital, which I'm sure freaked out Brian.

Once we got to the birth center, our midwife wasn't there yet. They had us go to the maternity side, where they hooked me up to monitors to check on my contrax and baby's heart rate. I remember looking at the clock at 7AM saying "It's already 7?". The midwife arrived shortly after that. When she checked me, I was 8cm dilated and fully effaced (after not really being dilated or effaced less than 24 hrs before). They rushed me to the birth center.

In the birth center, I labored in the tub very briefly. It didn't work out, as disappointing as that is to admit... the tub was blissful while it lasted. It was quick after that, though. My midwife told me not to hold back if I felt like pushing and the next thing I knew, Ethan was on the way!

As much as I didn't want to deliver that way, I ended up on my back on the bed with maternity nurses (as the birth center nurse wasn't there yet) assisting. One of them kept telling me that I had to pull on my legs, hold my breath, push hard and keep quiet or it wouldn't be effective. I wanted to kick her in the teeth, and I did tell her no at one point.

I tore badly. I guess the OB who did my episiotomy with Maggie (against my wishes) sewed it up too tightly and there was no give. The midwife had a hard time after the birth figuring out where the damage was to repair as I also lost a lot of blood.

But in any case, Ethan joined us at 7:32AM on Sunday. We thought he looked really small and were surprised to learn that he was 9 lbs 3 oz and 21 inches long. Only 1 oz heavier and 1/2 inch longer than Maggie at birth!

...

Ethan will be our last. I know that's easy to say right after birth (my family was teasing me for saying that) but I had a difficult pregnancy emotionally and I honestly do not want to go through birth again. Babies are wonderful, but I feel our family is now complete. Brian totally agrees.

Welcome Ethan David!

Sorry for the cryptic message before... I had to send an email from my cell phone and it did not go well.

We just got home and are trying to rest .... story will come.

born

ethan.david.7 :32am.9lbs.3oz.21

Coming Soon?

Today could be the day...

I've been up since 1AM now with strong contractions every 7 minutes. Trying to rest in between but it's been difficult. I have no idea how long this could go on, but it certainly seems like Sprout will be joining us soon.

Trip #1

We had a bit of a scare this morning. Just as we were getting ready to head out for a day of finishing things up, I discovered I was bleeding. Bright, red blood. I thought to myself first that it may be what's termed "bloody show"... but then I remembered being told to call the midwives if I have bright red bleeding. So when I was still bleeding 10 minutes later, I called and was advised to meet the midwife at the Emergency Room.

Not wanting to get everyone all worked up, but also wanting to be sure someone was there to take care of Margaret, we had a bit of a difficult time getting in touch with family. My MIL is the one who is supposed to care for Maggie when I'm in labor... but she refuses to have a cell phone. She wasn't home. Hubby tried my SIL next (she lives with MIL) but got no answer on her cell phone. I called my sister and found she currently had no transportation. My mom was last, but I didn't want to get her in a tizzy so I just explained what was going on and she offered to come get Margaret if we didn't hear back from MIL. Finally when we arrived at the hospital, hubby was able to reach his sister, who agreed to come down and get Maggie.

My trip through the ER was swift... I guess there was no one to do admission in maternity so that's why they sent me through there. I was whisked away up to the maternity floor in a wheelchair, feeling rather foolish. Also a bit perturbed since this was not the natural birth in the hospital's birth center that I was planning.

Once in the room, I was hooked up to the monitors to check contractions and fetal heartrate. My midwife came in and asked when I last ate - apparently the baby wasn't responsive enough (and I hadn't eaten breakfast yet at that point). She brought me some ginger ale and cranberry juice and then I was left to the mercy of the monitoring equipment.

Maggie was AWESOME while we were there. I brought her labor activity bag and she happily colored in the rocking chair or played with the baggie of hospital-issue socks that I never got on my feet.

I'm not sure how much time passed but the midwife returned to say that the baby looked good on the monitor and that I was having contractions but they were weak and infrequent (which I had already told her before that I wasn't having regular contractions). She did an internal and determined that the bleeding must be bloody show. My cervix was barely dilated and I was only somewhat effaced, so I definitely wasn't in labor. There was concern before I got there of a placental problem, but she felt the bleeding I was experiencing was normal.

Discharged...just as SIL showed up. LOL, it figures! In any case, I was advised to rest and walk (not sure how you can do both...LOL!). MIL did get in touch with us and asked to take Maggie for the weekend so she is now out of the house. I did some walking this afternoon and now I'm going to rest...

One of my friends seems sure that I will go into labor tonight or tomorrow. We shall see! I feel like such a dope though... Never had any of this with Maggie and it was so not "textbook" so I wanted to be sure there wasn't a problem. At least I still have a chance of the natural birth I was planning, though!

Gotta Love It!

I was so excited to see that ticker hit 40 weeks that I stopped on here during a middle of the night potty break... only to discover that snugglepie.com apparently thinks that 40 weeks is "overdue". LOL!

Oh well... any day now.

No Further Enlightenment

I had my "40 week" midwife appointment today. No weight change in the last week so I'm holding steady at 30 lbs gained. Blood pressure is good. Belly measures right on target for 40 weeks.

The good news is that it appears that Sprout is no longer posterior!!!! YAY! The heartbeat was strong and LOUD which indicates an anterior position (versus far-away and difficult to find, which is what we heard in the past). Woohoo! I still have to keep leaning forward as much as I can to keep him/her from going back to posterior (and it can certainly change during labor, too) but this is a good start!

We talked about what comes next. My next appointment is June 1st and if I haven't had Sprout by then, we will begin discussing NST and checking amnio fluid levels. In the meantime, she wanted me to keep up with the natural attempts at induction to do whatever I can to help move things along.

There was one small problem. We discussed the GBS thing again and I repeated that I do not want antibiotics and that the pediatrician on-call for them said they would then want me to stay for observation for 24 hours, which I will do. According to this midwife, the observation period is 48 hours - I DO NOT want to be stuck there for the first 2 days of my child's life. Especially for something that is unlikely to be a problem, and if it is, we would know within the first 24 hours. I agreed to 24 hours because a typical birth center stay is 12 hours... what's 12 more, you know? But 48 hours... don't want to do it. It's more money out of our pockets, it's increasing the likelihood of coming home with an illness (because hospitals are the best places to get sick, and we would be transferred to the hospital from the birth center for the stay), and it's putting our new lives on hold. If I leave before their recommended period of observation is up, I have to sign an AMA form (I think that's the name of it?) saying I'm leaving against their medical recommendations... and in some cases, that means insurance will refuse to pay if there is a problem down the road.

Not too happy about this being sprung on me...

One More Day

I don't know why I'm getting so hung up on an arbitrary number, but there's only 1 day left now until my due date.

...and to add a lovely twist, hubby is now sick. My only support person (as we could not afford a doula and I don't feel comfortable with anyone else in the room) and he's ill. At this point, I don't want him anywhere near the baby... which means if I go into labor before he recovers, things are going to get really interesting. I'm not normally a germaphobe but come on - I can't have him blowing his nose constantly in the birthing center while I'm trying to bring a new life into the world.

SIGH.

Stripper Maggie has been practicing her moves. She's getting quicker and more adept at removing her clothes. I've taken to putting her diapers on backwards during the day and we actually put duct tape on her night diaper tonight. Does that make me a bad parent? Hopefully she can keep her clothes on through my midwife appointment later today.

Dawn of a Better Day

Goodness, I hope so! The combination of preggo hormonal mood swings, Maggie's refusal to sleep (and therefore crankiness), and her testing of every boundary possible has not been good for us. It appears she has awakened in a better mood today and I hope it lasts... Not only did she wear me out yesterday, but she got to hubby, too, in the few short hours they spent together. Thankfully, he did rescue me for some time so I could calm down (and I put to good use the Cold Stone Creamery gift card we got from MIL for our anniversary after she went to sleep finally... gotta love Cold Stone to go!).

I awoke at about 3:30AM with bad back pain this morning and some crampiness. It very likely was contractions, but they were nothing severe. I laid down in child's pose on top of my pillow (to support the belly) and was able to fall back asleep. Hubby asked this morning if he should stay home, but it doesn't look like Sprout is eager to show him/herself today. (Because I'd know by now if anything were going to happen today, right?)

That brings up an interesting point. Since I did not go into natural labor with Maggie, I'm not even sure what to expect. I know there are the signs I'm supposed to be looking for: bloody show/loss of mucus plug, contractions that are 5 min apart for at least 2 hours, sometimes loose stools can be an indicator... But do these have to happen? Like will I definitely lose the mucus plug first? Will my body definitely decide it wants to clean itself out before labor? Obviously I will have contractions eventually... but it just seems like there would be some sort of warning. Not like in the movies where the lead actress' water breaks and they're on a mad dash to the hospital to have the baby before it pops out in the car. Heck, water doesn't even have to break to have a baby, so I know that isn't a sign I can depend upon either. I feel like such a newbie at this!

Alright, Get Me The Duct Tape!

We have a stripper on our hands!

Yesterday while I was catching up at the computer, I heard a crash from the living room. Upon inspection, I discovered Miss Maggie in all her naked glory standing in front of the TV. I guess she had enough of her clothes and diaper.

Last night when hubby checked on her to find out why she was still awake 1.5 hrs after putting her to bed, he again discovered her naked (though at least still in a diaper).

Well, this morning I found her buck naked...and sleeping in a puddle of pee. Ugh! This kid needs her clothes duct taped on!!! What a mess to try to clean up this morning, especially since she kept trying to play on her bed as I was stripping and airing it. Sigh.

...I smell a ripe diaper... thank goodness she still has a diaper on for this!

Waiting

Well, we have no closet ceiling in our bathroom anymore... and the problem still isn't fixed. The handyman is now waiting for the landlord to get the part for him, then he will call us to set up a time to fix it. I guess the drain to the bathtub above us is broken. So there's no ceiling, water is still leaking, I have to wait for him to fix it and then he'll have to replace the closet sheetrock as well as some of the sheetrock over our tub (which that is only a few years old... we redid the ceiling before we sold the house), and in the meantime I have all the closet stuff displaced throughout the house (including a good deal of it in our already cramped 9'x10' bedroom). SIGH. Guess Sprout needs to hold out a bit longer... When he asked me when would be a good time to come fix it, I had to tell him that I have no idea... I could go into labor at any time. He looked like he didn't believe me. Guess he was of the opinion that I'm excessively fat instead of pregnant.

I think Sprout rotated last night. I was trying my best to lie as close to on my stomach as possible (as recommended to help with posterior babies) and s/he was moving like mad most of the night! I'm not in as much pain today either. Regardless, Sprout can't come yet so s/he better be planning on at least a few more days' stay in the womb!

I CANNOT Go Into Labor...

I need some NO LABOR vibes for the next 48 hours. The landlord's handyman is FINALLY coming tomorrow to rip apart the closet. I'm less than thrilled about this as it is (just what I need...sheetrock dust everywhere with Maggie and I having asthma and me being pregnant) but I'm really sick of the water coming through the closet. Hopefully they can get it all fixed in time since it will be really tough without the toilet tomorrow, as well as the shower for early labor pain management if I go into labor. I better not! I don't even want to think about the mess that will be my bathroom after this, not to mention the fact that I have to displace everything in this closet (5 deep shelves) while this is being done. The timing couldn't be worse.

The Prediction I Never Posted

We predict your baby will be born 3-7 days before your due date. Your baby will most likely be born in the morning. Justmommies predicts that your baby will weigh approximately 8.7 pounds and that your labor will be about 12 hours long.

This came from http://www.justmommies.com/quizzes/labor_prediction_quiz.php on May 2, 2007 but I never posted it here.

Interesting... I'm in the middle of the predicted time period that Sprout should come, and Sprout was estimated at 8.5 lbs on Friday. Sprout's head has definitely moved since Friday, too, since I'm now waddling (I was not before), having pelvic pain, and am generally uncomfortable.

Brian wants Sprout to come on a weekday so he can have the excitement of leaving work early. ::roll eyes:: But I've already told him that probably wouldn't happen because I would want to be so sure that I really was in labor that I'd probably wait until he arrived home anyway. That's what my mom did with my sister (her 2nd child). My father was (and still is) a route driver and was not easily reached during the work day so she just sat in the kitchen all day with nearly 4 year old me running around, waiting for dad to come home from work.

In any case, a few stronger contractions last night but they went away when I went to sleep. I've been spending a lot of time with my knees lower than my hips, and my belly as low as possible. It's not that comfortable, especially riding with your back end propped up in the car so you can be as upright as possible. I spent 2.5 hours in the car that way yesterday and I felt like poop by the time I got home. But if it means a less painful labor and delivery and an easier entry into this world for Sprout, then it's worth it.

Occiput Posterior

I had a midwife appointment yesterday. Mostly just the usual stuff - pee in a cup, get weighed (I've gained about 30 lbs now), blood pressure, measure the belly, and listen to the heartbeat. The midwife did ask me if I felt differently this time around and I do - I've been pretty comfortable, very little swelling (only when it's hot), and little pain. The pain I have had goes away pretty quickly. That, combined with where they've been finding the heartbeat and the fact that it doesn't feel like Sprout has dropped (plus feeling my belly) has led them to the conclusion that Sprout is Occiput Posterior. At least s/he is head down, right?

So now I'm supposed to crawl around as much as possible and walk. Crawling on wood floors HURTS though so I've been doing a lot of child's pose from yoga, kneeling and leaning over pillows, that sort of stuff. I don't know if it's helping (it's only been about 24 hrs) but it feels like Sprout is lower today... I'm having pelvic pain and I haven't had that in weeks.

Otherwise, we're still waiting. 6 days until my due date! My next appointment is Thursday and I'm still hoping I'll be in labor before then.

Adventures In Natural Induction

I know. All in due time. It's not up to me as to when Sprout should arrive. But that doesn't mean I can't do things to try to help my body move in the right direction, right? :)

So today I had 2500mg Evening Primrose Oil, we actually DTD (in spite of my being as big as a whale right now!), and I tried out my breast pump for a good 30 minutes of stimulation.

What did that get me? A couple contractions, and that's it. The EPO isn't supposed to help with contractions (or DTD, actually) - it's supposed to help thin and shorten the cervix. And without that being checked by someone who knows what they're doing, there's no way to tell if there has been an improvement. Especially since I haven't been checked yet in this pregnancy - and I'm not pushing for it. You can walk around for weeks dilated at 3cm and being partly effaced and it still makes no difference. Your body will do what it wants to do when it's ready. So rather than add to the stress, I have not asked for any internals to find out that status. But you know what? I'm driving myself crazy anyway. ;)

Maybe it just takes a little longer than a half hour to see a difference? LOL! Wait and see...

Monster Belly!

How much bigger will it get before Sprout finally arrives? At this point with Maggie, I was less than 7 hours away from delivery... no signs of labor today though, in spite of the massive thunderstorms that swept through the area this evening.

What the heck?

What am I doing up at this hour, you may be asking yourself. I'm not in labor, that much I can tell you.

Just can't sleep. I think I will have a hard time with post-partum depression this time, seeing as I'm having issues already with depression. Yesterday was actually better as far as Maggie was concerned, but now hubby is adding to the mix with the grief he's giving me over our expenses. I hate payday, I hate having to ask him for money when I used to make my own, and I hate that he gives me grief over it even though he has enough to pay the difference. Especially since we discussed all of this before I went on maternity leave from my business.

So, now my mind is full thinking about getting a part-time job at night. How many hours I need, how much money I need to make, all that good stuff. Sleep... no time for that. Just need to pay the bills, get the groceries, and keep the car full of gas. Doesn't matter that a SAHM is estimated to already be working 90+ hours a week.

I knew this would happen... And yet, I'm still upset. While Maggie and I don't always see eye-to-eye, I was really enjoying my job as full-time mom. It makes me sad that some of that will be sacrificed in the pursuit of the almighty dollar. But alas, I have no choice...

Reminiscing

38 weeks 4 days today.

At this exact point in my pregnancy with Margaret, I was being admitted to H Hospital for my induction. The first round of Pitocin would be starting around 10PM... and after 31 hours, 2 rounds of Pitocin, breaking my water, an internal monitor, and an epidural at 26 hrs, Margaret came into the world. 5AM June 16, 2005 when I was 38 weeks 6 days pregnant.

It's hard to just sit here and wait this time. No contractions to speak of for days now. No signs of the mucus plug. Sprout still feels pretty high up (not the bowling ball between the legs feeling that I had before Margaret's induction, even!). In fact, aside from the fact that I have a huge belly in the way, I don't even feel pregnant. There's the occasional jab or somersault from the womb, but nothing of the discomfort I had felt in the weeks leading up to my induction with Margaret. It's really quite strange.

So who knows when this kiddo will arrive... Murphy's Law would lean toward this weekend (as MIL is away and she is the one who's supposed to watch Margaret while I have this baby) or May 27, as my family will be on the other side of the state at my cousin's wedding. All I know is, it won't be today.

Can we just skip this next year?

Mother's Day. It's just a holiday created by greeting card companies, right? I think I'm skipping it next year.

Hubby was nice enough to try to let me sleep in, especially since I was up 5 or 6 times last night to pee. He even did a little art project with Maggie, who waited outside the bathroom door when I did get up clutching a card she and her daddy made. But it went downhill from there.

Maggie was, again, cranky. The girl does not sleep enough, doesn't matter if we put her to bed earlier, later, routine or none, she won't sleep. The screaming fits started early so I suggested going to the local nature preserve for a walk. This was the same place where hubby took pregnancy portraits of me when I was 37 weeks 2 days preggo with Maggie. I thought it would be a nice place to go and get some fresh air, maybe get a few pictures of Maggie and me together since we have so few (I'm usually behind the camera lens).

Well, Maggie didn't want to hold my hand. She didn't want me to sit on her bench. She didn't want to hug me. She didn't want me anywhere near her. She even hit me with a stick. It hurt. My feelings, that is. I know she's not being intentionally malicious, but on a day that's supposed to have such significance, it hurt that my of-late clingy toddler wanted only to push me away with a scowl on her face.

As hubby was loading her back in the car, I saw another small family with a young boy around Maggie's age. He was cuddling with his mom, sharing kisses and smiles. I cried.

After that, we went out to eat at Bertucci's. Nothing fancy, but the crankies continued. We hoped she would nap afterwards so we put her in the stroller and walked around the shops. No nap. Though at least she wasn't whining and screaming at the time.

Bought a baby names book from Borders because (yes, it's sad, I know) we still haven't discussed names for Sprout. Then went for a nice Sunday ride. Except she screamed most of the time in the car. And threw things. Then wanted them back. Then threw them again. Screamed some more. All the while, hubby keeps telling me, "There's a reason why they call it terrible 2s." That doesn't help, just makes me feel like a bad person for being upset by it.

At one point, I had had enough rejection and actually asked to get out of the car to walk home. I think we were 10 miles from home.

At the gas station 1 mile from home, hubby tried to take Maggie (to walk home) and leave me the car. I think he meant well, but he was angry with me and kept yelling at me when I said they were not leaving me there at the gas station and that I refused to drive home.

We got home, hubby dumped our stuff inside, then immediately left with Maggie to go for a walk. He said it was to give me a break but he had not been talking very nicely to me and I spent the next 20 minutes bawling. I felt abandoned, rejected, hated, unloved. All on Mother's Day. I didn't want to exist.

Hubby returned and we tried to talk it out... all the while, Maggie was destroying the apartment. And screaming. At least I stopped crying. I tried rocking her to sleep, but she wanted nothing to do with it, in spite of how tired she was. Eventually, we just tried putting her to bed early. Only, she used that as an excuse to destroy her bedroom. I retired to our bedroom on the other side of the house because I couldn't listen to her not sleep when she needs it so much.

An hour and a half later, she finally was asleep. And her room was completely ransacked. I opened the door, saw the mess, and left. I can't deal with it now.

Preggo hormones? I don't know. But it was not a fun day. And I'm not looking forward to yet another day of screaming and whining tomorrow. I don't care if it is normal... there's only so much of that a person can take.

I'm skipping Mother's Day next year.

I Need To Run Away

Far away.

I'm tired of having a toddler who refuses to nap, refuses to sleep a full night, and then takes it out on me.

I'm tired of being screamed at, ignored, and outright disregarded.

I'm tired of having my house ripped apart, of having to say the same rules over and over and over and over and over and over again, knowing I won't be listened to.

I'm tired of paying the price when I didn't do anything wrong.

I'm tired of this crappy apartment with no room, windows I can't open because the neighbors smoke, water coming through my bathroom closet for 3 months now with nobody coming to fix it (even though I was told 2 times it was fixed, and a 3rd time that someone would be coming to fix it), and now waste water leaking in the basement with nobody giving a crap to even do anything about it.

I'm tired. I'm achy. I'm crampy. I'm hot. I'm nauseous. I've had enough.

I was fine 3 days ago.

I want to get away. Far away. For days. Maybe weeks. How about a month? Can I do that? Just to reclaim my sanity? Please?

Thunder...

A thunderstorm is on the horizon. I can hear it coming. As a child, I always thought it was cool to watch the lightning safely from my bedroom window with my dad. But I've never enjoyed those thunderstorms that wake you in the middle of the night. They still frighten me.

I read recently that big changes in barometric pressure can bring on labor. I guess we shall see.

38 weeks 0 days. Some crampy contractions, but nothing to write home about. It felt like Sprout had dropped a little yesterday, but I'm not feeling that pressure today. Though I have heard that it's possible for a 2nd baby to not drop until labor itself.

Of course, we still have no names picked out. NONE. Not even a list to pick from. So maybe I shouldn't be in a hurry to get this kiddo out.

Attention!

I think Sprout has dropped some! I have a lot more pressure/pain in my pubic/bladder region (and it's not pain of having to pee). My lower back is also achy. I think Sprout is sitting lower, and s/he was already head down as of my last appointment.

No signs of labor, but this is a development.

So Much For Lazy Days...

I meant to take it easy yesterday. Honestly. Then the front porch started calling to me...

You see, we live in a small apartment (700sq ft) at a house with no yard to play in (the other tenants park on the back lawn). There's a little bit of side and front lawn, but it slopes drastically and quickly. Though we do have a lovely Japanese Maple on the side of our house. So we used to have seats on our front porch to enjoy the outdoors... something that has been neglected since the year Maggie was born. Last year the owner was supposed to paint the house and we had to remove everything from the porch... the house never was painted. So now I'm moving it all back.

It started with the heavy potting bench. It used to be part of our kitchen (very little counter space) before Maggie was born. Now, that space is occupied by our desk and computer so the potting bench has sat on the front porch until we could find a permanent place for it or we move. I decided to move it from one end of the porch to the other. It should have fit where I wanted it... except our air conditioner was in the way and I couldn't make the swing. So I had to push it all the way back to where I started.

Then there's the metal frame bench. It's old... really old. Something we got for free that I repainted a few years ago. But it's also something that requires cushions to utilize it, and the cushions never seem to last more than one season. Last year, it sat on the lawn, empty and unused while we waited for the house to be painted. I moved it back on the porch.

Then the plans started... hanging planters with flowers, flowers to put on the potting bench, cushions or a new bench for seating, and a gate to keep Maggie contained while we're out there.

So we started at the greenhouses. UGH. Pregnant women do not belong in greenhouses in 85 degree weather. Maggie rather enjoyed it, but I was wilting fast. I was also not willing to pay $20+ for each hanging basket since I will admit to having a sort of brown thumb. We ended up at WalMart (as much as I HATE that store!!!!) where I found 2 hanging baskets of peach Gerber Daisies for $10 each, plus some gorgeous begonias to put on the potting bench. I also found a plastic bench there but I didn't buy it because there wasn't enough room in the Blazer to bring it home, now that there are 2 carseats in there.

Got home, hung the plants... realized I forgot about looking for the gate.

Went back out last night (instead of going to bellydancing) to KMart and found $25-$35 cushions for the bench (I need 2 and I won't pay that much), no bench alternatives that are affordable, and no gate. I think the kind of gate I'm envisioning is something that's probably no longer in production (accordian style... needs to cover about 79" opening but easily be removed for the mailman to get on the porch).

In any case, I'm losing interest fast in my plans for the porch given the limited budget I have. I would so love a wicker loveseat style bench out there but I definitely can't afford that. And all of this is reliant upon a gate... can't hang out with Sprout on the bench and have Maggie loose in the front yard - our street is way too busy for me to have to worry about her running out into the road.

SIGH.

In any case, I'm going to take it a little easier today. My sister was actually appalled that I was moving furniture yesterday, claiming Sprout's going to just pop right out. If only it were that easy, I'd rearrange the entire apartment.

Lazy Summer Days

Woke up feeling crampy at 1:30AM (pee break). And again when I got up this morning. Reluctantly got up, that is. I'm very tired and feeling very lazy. The sun is shining and it's supposed to be 84 degrees today, but all I feel like doing is crawling back into bed and being left alone. Did I mention I'm cranky, too?

It's a little strange to feel this way. I've been feeling pretty good during the last couple of weeks, something unexpected at this stage of pregnancy considering how I felt last time around. So this laziness is making me a little crazy, too. Like the dishes piled up in the pantry... I don't want them piled up, but I don't feel like standing there washing them either. Or the mess of toys all over the house. You know, the stuff that gets picked up every night, only to end up thrown about the house in record time again the next morning. I'm feeling pretty defeated about picking it all up these days.

In any case, I really should get my butt in gear. I hurt more when I sit for too long... So off I go!

It Works!

Just did a test to be sure I can email a post from my cell phone. It's a little tedious, but this way I can share the news faster when Sprout is born! :)

Midwife appointment today. Pretty unexciting. Belly measures right where it should be, heart was beating. We discussed natural things I can do now to help labor along (which, of course, only work if the body is ready... they won't bring labor on but they should help keep me from going over the 42 week mark, which is my deadline). It was a little weird having a woman I barely know tell me that I should have intercourse or stimulate my nipples, but it's not like I wasn't already aware of these methods of natural induction. She did advise me to increase my evening primrose oil intake from 1000mg to 1500mg, inserting 1 or 2 of the gelcaps vaginally to really help things along. And walk. Just what every huge pregnant woman who is already chasing a toddler all day feels like doing, right? Oh yeah, and drink Red Raspberry Leaf tea. I have the stuff. In fact, I have a great pregnancy tea blend, too. But I don't like the way it tastes so I never drink it. Guess I should get on that.

In any case, my next appointment is next Friday at the 39 weeks mark. That will be new territory for me since I gave birth to Margaret at 38 weeks 6 days (induction was started at 38 weeks 4 days).

test

testing.

Moving In The Right Direction

Last night, I started having some crampy-feeling contractions. Things are moving along! I'm not in labor yet, not by far... at least, I don't think so. I never really got this far with Maggie. I don't think I had any crampy contractions before her birth, just some of the usual pain-free Braxton Hicks variety (and those only in the days leading up to her induction). But there's no regularity, and they go away when I lie down on my side, so this must just be practice. Exciting! But still not time yet...

Because I'm A Super Dork

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

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Refreshing My Memory

I spent some time during the last 24 hours reading back to the days leading up to, as well as the first month after, Maggie's birth. I had forgotten a lot. The complete lack of sleep for the first few weeks. The extreme of the psychological turmoil I suffered. The constant poopy diapers. LOL! I was also reminded that it was on May 25, 2005 that we lost my great-grandmother. I had completely forgotten the date and had no idea the irony involved in that being my due date this time.

In any case, it was good to go back and refresh my memory. Made me realize just how far we really have come since Maggie was born, as well as remind me of what's to come in very short time.

19 days to go per my ticker, but we all know babies come on their own timelines.

Random Thoughts from a Random Brain

As long as I deliver within the next 5 weeks, I can now use the birth center. Exciting, eh? I still don't feel a kinship with my midwives, though... I half-jokingly keep saying I'm just going to stay home. Hey, you know, if the baby comes too fast, there's nothing to be done about that, right? Sigh.

In any case, we're "physically" ready. Baby clothes are washed and put away. Snugtuck pillow is installed for co-sleeping. Arms Reach mini co-sleeper is also set up (as a changing station in our room). I have my breast pump (though I haven't opened it yet) and a couple glass bottles, just in case. My bag is mostly packed. I met with our pediatrician today and completed the last of the paperwork required by the birth center. I have my post-partum supplies. I stocked up the pantry a bit...

But I'm not ready mentally or emotionally. I need another week or two. I don't want to be induced, so I'd rather not get close to 42 weeks. But I'm only 37 weeks today... I still have time.

I'm a little annoyed right now. Some of you may already be familiar with my baby carrier addiction. In the past, I never worried about buying new carriers to try because I was able to resell the ones I didn't like for very little loss in value. But lately, I can't seem to sell anything. I buy something new, it doesn't work for me (or I just don't like the way it looks upon arrival) and I get stuck with it because I can't seem to resell it in the normal networks that I use. So now I'm out money and stuck with something I don't like. :( It's very frustrating! Or on the flip side of that, I have *1* carrier that is HTF because they are not made anymore. People are clamoring to buy them, they're selling for 2-4x as much as I paid, and there are all sorts of wonderful offers of trades of currently available carriers that I would like to try but can't afford. However, even though I swore I would never part with mine, I offered it up to 3 different mamas (2 who were looking to trade for one of them, 1 who wanted to buy and I gave her a VERY fair price, considering market value) - NONE of them wanted it. :( Combine that with preggo hormones and you get a pscyho mama who feels the world is out to get her. There apparently are no guarantees in life.

I have a confession: I skipped my bellydancing class this week. I really didn't feel like going and I needed to get to the grocery store, so I went there instead. Good thing, too - I was exhausted afterwards and it took me 1.5 hours just to get through the typical shopping trip. I'll go next week, I promise!

Maggie and I went to a lovely park playgroup yesterday. It's a 45 minute drive but it's worth it to hang out with like-minded mamas and their kiddos. She had a blast! We were there for nearly 4 hours and she played almost the entire time, only stopping for a few moments at a time for a snack. This is a weekly get-together that I would very much like to participate in frequently but with the recent hike in gas prices, I'm not sure how often we can afford to go. What a shame.

Supplements

I swear, I take more supplements than food!

• Rainbow Light prenatal vitamin/mineral - 1/day
• Nettle Leaf - 950mg/day
• Green Pastures Cod Liver Oil - 2 capsules/day
• HMF Forte (probiotic) - 1 capsule/day
• Grapefruit Seed Extract - 7 drops/day
• Vitamin K Tonic - 3 dropperfuls/day
• Evening Primrose Oil (started this week) - 1 capsule/day (will increase weekly)
  
• 1 clove garlic/day swallowed whole with milk
• Apple Cider Vinegar - 1 Tbsp/day

The last (ACV) was added after my midwife appointment on Monday to help with the GBS. All I can say is YUCK! Even adding the 1 Tbsp to a full glass of water, it still tastes awful! Not that the Vitamin K tincture tastes all that great, seeing as it's preserved in a grain alcohol mixture, but at least it's not a lingering taste. I take the ACV first, then Vitamin K, then finish up with Grapefruit Seed Extract (which is quite bitter) in a little bit of orange juice, and I can still taste the ACV afterwards.

But it's worth it... it's all for the health of our baby.

Results Are In...

....GBS+ again. So I won't be discharged early after all. I'm a bit disappointed. I'm not fond of the maternity wing of this hospital (which is where I would have to be transferred after birth in order to have a "normal" stay) and I hated feeling like I was trapped last time. I felt like my life was on hold until we were able to escape those doors... Plus hospitals are terrible places to stay. You're more likely to get sick there than anywhere else! But I agreed to stay for observation if I was GBS+ in lieu of receiving prophylactic antibiotics. End of story. I just have to live with it now.

A man following me around in Michaels Arts & Crafts yesterday was making me really nervous. I would intentionally skip aisles, only to have him skip them, too, and end up in the same one. Finally, I reached an aisle I needed to stop and look at the products ... fortunately, a store employee was there, too. As soon as the store employee left, though, the guy turned to me and said, "How much longer do you have?" I was a little surprised by the question... and even more so by his response when I told him 1 month: "Wow, you look really uncomfortable!" Nice, eh? I'm still freaked out a bit by the whole situation... is he some kind of sicko preggo-perv? Why was he following me? After our conversation, he left me alone... but I still felt weird about it. Maybe it's just that men don't normally ask pregnant women about their pregnancies? I don't know... weird...

So place your bets... when is Sprout going to arrive? MIL will be away May 18-21 (and she's our primary caregiver for Maggie while I'm in the hospital), and my whole family will be at a wedding on May 27th. I'm thinking it will be either of those time slots. Hopefully not too late... Hubby's birthday is June 10th, and Maggie's is June 16th. The latest they'll let me go is 42 weeks, which falls on June 8th. June could become a very complicated month...

No signs of labor. Sleeping pretty well, surprisingly. And I'm mostly ache and pain free at the moment. Can't really complain! I'm ready to be done, don't get me wrong. But fortunately I'm not impatient. It will be over soon enough... and then the real fun begins! In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my sleep!