Arabella - Loved from the start, lost all too soon...
It was on this day one year ago that I learned that I had lost our first baby that I was pregnant with. I was 9 weeks 4 days pregnant at the time and was told that we probably lost her 2 days prior (which happened to be the day we celebrated my father's 50th birthday). I wonder often what she would have been like. Had she lived, she would have been about 4 months old now. Then again, had she lived, we wouldn't have Maggie in our lives. And I wouldn't have learned the lessons I needed to learn (more on that in this post). Loss is a difficult thing to come to terms with, but I know I am in a much better place today than I was a year ago. I am grateful for everything that I have: Maggie, my sistas who were there for me in my time of need, even the new view I developed on life after that loss. It's all so much more precious to me now. Regardless, I still miss her. I know she accomplished her purpose and has found peace...I'd like to think that I have found peace now, too.
You're in my thoughts today, my little angel...
Homemade Oatmeal Cream Pies
5 years ago
3 comments:
I was thinking so much about this yesterday as I was mopping the floor and thinking about Katie's post about faith. I realised, all at once, that my first baby did not die in vain--that that baby had a very real purpose in my life and completely changed the course of my life and the course of who I was to become. I am who I am today because of that baby. My marriage is what it is because of going through something profoundly painful, etc. And that baby and all that it meant in my life is materialized in Liam--my most beautiful miracle.
Thinking of your Arabella, too, and how grateful I am to have had you along with me on this journey
PS your dad is still in my prayers!
Carrie, I'm so sorry I haven't been able to comment and support you of late -- Arabella is in my thoughts as well, as have you and your dad. I hope things improve soon. ((((hugs))))
(((HUGS))) to you on this day. I know from experience how hard crossing this milestone is. You wouldn't be who/where you are today if it weren't for Arabella, just as I know my life wouldn't be as it is if not for Erin. Our angels have taught us much...
Keeping you in my thoughts...
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