Our Own Fairy Changling

I think I've discovered how the legends of changlings came about. For those who aren't familiar, this website is a great resource on the various changling legends. The one I'm thinking of, simply put, involves the fairies taking away the healthy child and leaving in his stead one that does not thrive and cries all the time (the changling).

Margaret has become the thing legends are made of. Our sweet little girl who only occasionally cried, even when super fussy, has become quite unhappy. Damn that reflux. It was when the reflux surfaced as getting worse enough for me to notice it that Margaret was "changed." Every time she eats now, it's a battle, most often with trying to keep her calm enough to even eat now that she's screaming so much from the pain. I was totally unprepared for a reflux chlid. Colic I knew about, and did in fact read about in advance in order to prepare myself for its possibility. Right now, I'd gladly take a colicky babe over a reflux one. At least I'd be about half-way through it if it were colic. And it would only be for several hours a day, at the worst, instead of all day. I had enough issues with feeding stress from the beginning (some of which were probably due to reflux, in retrospect...it just wasn't as bad for her then). But this is really pushing me towards my breaking point now. It's so frustrating trying to get nourishment into your child only to have her push you away and scream (not cry!), but clearly still need and want to eat. I'm a problem-solver. Not being able to take the pain away and stop her crying is really getting to me. It breaks my heart to see her suffer so, but it's also very difficult to deal with.

Obviously, the cereal bottles are not helping. I tried oatmeal cereal instead of rice since the doctor did say that was an option. No difference. I also went out and spent a small fortune on Dr. Brown's bottles, since everyone claimed that was the miracle they all needed. Once again, it seems things are now worse instead of better. I will be calling her doctor later today to discuss whatever options we have left. I think we will either be trying Enfamil AR next (a thickened formula, which is supposed to help keep it down in her stomach and supposedly would then reduce the reflux) or Zantac. I don't want to medicate if it's not necessary, but it's starting to seem like it will be.

In the meantime, I'm plagued with thoughts of returning to work early just to escape some of the screaming. I know, I'm terrible for thinking it. I should be cherishing every moment, especially with the road I had to take to get here. Don't get me wrong-I am grateful that we have her in our lives. It's just been so difficult since she wasn't like this from birth. I got used to a pretty low-needs baby who was mostly happy and I think that's why this sudden change is hitting me so hard. I want the baby I had 2 weeks ago back! And I'm sure she would prefer to be that baby again, too.