Taking It Easy

Well, the spotting stopped for the most part last night. (TMI alert!) It was very light and pink, and now my CM is only lightly tinged brown so it's going away. I've been resting with my feet up. Since nothing can be done anyway if this did lead to miscarriage, I did not call my doctor's office or rush to the ER. Number one, my doctor's office would have just told me to rest with my feet up anyway - I'm already doing that. Number two, I will be having an ultrasound on Monday anyway. If I can make it 2 more days, we'll be able to see more of what's going on at that point. Why waste insurance money today if it will be done Monday anyway - besides, there are people who need the services of the ER more than I do right now. Brian is convinced it's nothing and it's perfectly normal, but maybe it's just a defense mechanism, his way of dealing with the situation. It's funny because he keeps watching children's shows on TV today, claiming we'll have to get used to it anyway for the kids. :) He can be so sweet. :)

A couple of my friends on FF mentioned a subchorionic bleed possibly being the culprit. So I decided to look up some info on it on the internet since I was never told of this last time around even though I spotted frequently in that pregnancy. The best description I found was the comparison of pregnancy to a construction zone, and the bleeding being like when the construction crew accidentally hits a water or gas main. With all that's going on in the uterus, it's not uncommon for bleeding to occur from time to time - it's just difficult to deal with if you've had a miscarriage before. "Normal" holds no meaning for me anymore.

In any case, it looks like I'm a hostage of my living room this weekend. Only 2 more days until I figure out if this baby will stick around a little longer. Then I still have to get past 9 weeks 4 days when I found out Arabella had died. I have a looooong way to go, and I don't think I will actually feel comfortable until we have a live baby to hold in our arms.