And the answer is ..... 25 ..... Are you scratching your head? That's what Brian did when I called him at work to tell him. You see, I work in an office full of cubicles. I sit 3 feet from the counter where all the customers come in. I have no privacy here. So I tried to speak in code. He asked me what that meant, and I replied, "Well, last month it was 0," figuring he'd catch on. He didn't. So I had to come out and actually say it in as much of a whisper as I could manage. I am pregnant. A little bit, by that number, but I am. I should be jumping up and down right now, twirling around in circles, elated and overjoyed. But a couple things cloud this. Number one, Babyloss Awareness Day tomorrow when I'll be lighting a candle in memory of Arabella and all my sistas' angel babies. Second, that number seems so low. Last time, at 16 DPO it was around 350-something. 25 at 13 DPO doesn't seem high enough. To be fair, it looks like I had a later implantation in this cycle than the last time I got pregnant. That would result in low numbers (and very faint positives on HPTs!). But I can't help but think about that number...I shouldn't have even asked what it was.
So here I am, cautiously expecting. If all goes well, my due date according to Fertility Friend is June 23, 2005. A little less than a month before the 1 year anniversary of the loss of Arabella. Two weeks after Brian's birthday, the day this year that we found out I was pregnant for the first time. I am happy, really... I'm just worried, too.
Homemade Oatmeal Cream Pies
5 years ago
5 comments:
Carrie - It stinks that b/c we know the pain of loss that happy times like +hpt are still so nerve wracking. Prayers to you & this little one growing inside of you.
YAY!! Carrie let me tell you my HCG numbers story. At 17DPO mine was around 66...I was heartbroken. I thought it was over before it ever began. That number was sooo low. Everyone else had them in the 100s if not thousands. THe next draw was like 422 four days later. Still low, but still doubling.I drove myself crazy with the charts and comparing myself to other people's numbers. The lesson I learned was as long as that number goes up up up--that's all that matters. So, my thoughts and prayers are with you for skyrocketing numbers! Try to relax (easier said than done) I'm praying this little bean of yours will STICK STICK STICK!
I am so happy for you!
I am whispering congratulations, as I know all too well how you are feeling right now. It really sucks that we lose that naive excitement after experiencing losses. I'm sending lots and lots and lots of stick vibes your way, though. I hope, hope, hope that this one is IT for you!!!!
Congratulations and sticky vibes to you :o) I'm praying for you that everything goes smoothly and uneventful.
-Carrie Jo
Carrie,
I'm just stopping in to check on you. When do you get another draw? Are you getting another draw? How was babyloss awareness day? Just hoping and praying for you. Keep me posted =)
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