Realizations

A couple things. The obvious is that I am now only a week away from the critical point for me in this pregnancy. It was at 9w2d that I probably lost Arabella. Oddly, I'm not as distressed about this as I thought I would be. Even Brian admitted that he was feeling very optimistic about this pregnancy. I think it's because everything is different this time. If it had all been the same, I would not have been able to believe it, but it's been smooth sailing so far (aside from that very short episode of extremely light spotting a couple weeks ago). I went shopping with my sister on Thursday and ended up buying a whole bunch of outfits for the baby, estimating to the best of my ability the sizes for the times of year they would be worn. Like this adorable fleece jack o'lantern sleeper set that was originally $44 - only $5! How could I not get it? I could picture our baby in it the moment I saw it. So while I was anxious originally about this moment in pregnancy, it's not really a big deal to me anymore.

The other is that there is no way we can make it work out in our tiny apartment. We have an odd living situation in that we used to own our house. We bought a 3 family house in November 2001. Shortly thereafter, we tired of being landlords. We sold the house in December 2003 for a nice profit and paid off a lot of bills (unfortunately, not all of them). We didn't plan on buying again for a while, and ended up renting our apartment back from the new owner. It's cute, but it's only 700 square feet in 4 little rooms. I thought we could try putting the crib in our bedroom for the first 6 months at least and do our best to rearrange for a changing table, but there is no room. Our bedroom is only about 9'x10' - very cramped to begin with. The other bedroom is the junk room, with our computer and desk, bookcase, and a whole bunch of sports equipment that has to be stored where temps are pretty consistent. There is no way this will work. We didn't want to be moving before the baby comes because it would empty our bank account to do it - everyone wants first, last, and security. But if there's no room, there's no room. We'll have to do it. I'd rather wait until winter is over, so I guess that means we'll have to move when I have a big preggo belly. I'm not looking forward to it - I hate moving. But it needs to be done.