Nothing To Do

There's nothing like a week off from work. Well, in this case, it's almost a week and a half. However, I get bored being shut in the house pretty quickly. I guess I'd make a horrible stay-at-home-mom. I can handle hanging around the house for a day or two but after that I start to go stir crazy. Being out and celebrating the holiday Friday evening through Sunday night helped alleviate this problem somewhat (I've been off work since 1PM on Thursday), but it's starting to wear on me. Yesterday I made Brian come up with an errand so I could get out of the house, and we ended up eating out. Today I tried to get him out again, but he wanted to relax, so I was stuck here all day. And now, he's at work at his part time job and he took my truck since his needs to be worked on, so I literally am stuck here for the night. I don't feel like cleaning, there's nothing good on TV to watch, and while knitting is interesting for the first half hour or so, I get bored with that pretty quickly, too. I have some books I can read, but I just don't feel like it. I guess I'm just stuck in a funk; nothing needs to be done, and yet, I just can't seem to entertain myself in all this free time. I should be grateful. Come June, I won't know what free time is anymore. My days will be filled with feedings, diaper changes, and laundry - lots of it. I won't be able to go anywhere without bringing half of the house with me and I can forget about just going to the mall or whatever to browse. It won't be worth the hassle (and we'll probably be broke). Yet, I'm still restless and unmotivated at the same time. 6 more days until I return to work. I don't really want to go back, but at least it's something to do outside of the house...

Oh yes, and people are starting to predict the gender of this baby. For some reason, my FIL thinks it will be a girl - which explains why he gave the baby a toy Hummer for Christmas. :) I don't know if he *really* thinks that will be the case, or he just figures that's what's likely to happen because he gave a "boy" gift. But he's said it to people other than us, so I guess that's what he's really thinking. My father and my sister think the baby will be a boy, but my mother keeps saying she's thinking girl. Some of that stems from the fact that she likes to tease Brian since he has this plan that involves the first-born being a boy. I'm not exactly a seasoned veteran at this, but I was so sure with Arabella from the start that I was having a girl. I don't know why, it just felt that way. This time, I don't have any strong feelings, it's just entirely different. I guess that's why I'm thinking we're having a boy (which really explains why I'm buying dresses, huh? :) ). Regardless, we'll have to wait another 6 months to find out. Oh yeah, and my husband's family is having a lot of fun telling me how late *ALL* of their children were. Brian and his sisters were about a week late (all but one requiring my MIL to be induced), and his aunts were telling me of their children who were a month late!!! Yowsers!!! Fortunately, my siblings and I were within days of our due dates, so I hope I have the same in my future for this little one. I imagine once I get near the end, I'll want to be done with being pregnant ASAP!

Resolutions

I spoke with our attorney on Thursday in regards to the landlord issue. After reviewing our apartment lease and the situation, his interpretation of the situation was the same as mine; we cannot be forced to share space in the garage with the 2nd floor tenant because our lease guarantees us full usage of the garage, which implies exclusive usage, even if it does not explicitly say so. He laid out what steps to take if the landlord doesn't back down, so at least we know what to expect. Regardless, it's become abundantly clear that we have worn out our welcome here. Even our attorney said it seems like he's trying to appease the 2nd floor tenants because they are more likely to be long-term tenants than we are. So it's back to the classifieds to see if we can find anything. My father also claims he knows of a rental in a condo development that's nearby, which would be ideal. And my family has offered their help in moving knowing that I can't be moving the boxes myself. I guess there aren't really any excuses left; it's time to move on. And good riddance to our illogical and ridiculous landlord!!

Christmas was nice. Actually, the celebration isn't quite over. It started Friday night at my parents' house and will continue through tonight at my husband's family's gathering. Nothing like celebrating for 3 days straight! :) It's so weird to think that this is the last year we'll be just the two of us for Christmas, that we'll have all this fexibility. Next year we'll have a 6 month old infant to include, which will definitely change the way we celebrate (like no more opening all of our gifts to each other early :) ) as well as what we do with our families. We'll have our child's schedule to work around, instead of just doing what we want when we feel like it. But it will all be worth it, and it will be wonderful. I just know it!

Fear and Other Nonsense

I haven't been online much lately. My old foe, Spot, visited on Monday. It was a quite unwelcome visit. It wasn't much, but it was still there. I almost didn't do anything...after all, it stopped in the late afternoon, what more could I do? Until I decided to research online what spotting at this point could mean. Incompetant Cervix. What a horrible name for a condition over which a woman has no control. I didn't know if I had it, but I figured I'd better get it checked out in case I needed a cerclage. Something could be done in this case to prevent the worst from happening, if that was the cause of the spotting. So I got on the phone with my doctor's office, explained what happened, and they called me in to check everything out. The roads were slick and snowy, but I didn't care - my baby's well-being was at stake! I saw my doctor and she said she totally understood my fears; she knew them well enough herself. But everything checked out fine. I wasn't spotting anymore, my cervix was good and closed, and Peep's heart was beating away, strong and regular. She said everything looked and sounded great and I should be fine, but to not hesitate to call should something happened again. She didn't want me sitting home, crying and all upset. She told me they would make the decision if it was something that needed to be checked out, and even if they didn't think so but I felt something was *really* wrong, all I needed to do was tell them and they'd get me in. Comforting words, even if they are only words. So it seems Peep is, once again, safe... the spotting has stopped and fear is subsiding. I'm back to listening to the heartbeat every day with the doppler now, but a little reassurance goes a long way.

In other news, for some reason on Monday (before the spotting incident) when I got home at lunch time, I had a horrible feeling that the message on the answering machine was our landlord asking us when we were going to finally move. I should explain that we used to own the 3 family house in which we reside and sold it about a year ago. We've been renting from the new owner ever since on a month-to-month basis, with the intention of moving eventually, but it hasn't come to fruition yet. The message on Monday was not him, but Tuesday when I saw that light flashing again, my stomach dropped. This time it was him, telling us we needed to make room in the garage for the 2nd floor tenant's quad. Not a question, didn't even leave a number to get back to him at (he lives on the other side of the state). I should mention that our rental agreement entitles us to full usage of the garage, of which my husband has taken advantage - there isn't even room to walk around in there! On top of that, we have the garage locked because Brian's tools and some other costly equipment are in there; I do not relish the idea of sharing that space with a person I don't even know. On top of that, if they're still under the same rental agreement I wrote when they rented the 2nd floor apartment only a month before the house sold, they're not even supposed to have a quad - it's forbidden by the lease, as is parking on the lawn (which they do), and additional tenants (which there is now). GRRRRRRR!!! I don't understand why every time they call him and say jump, he says how high. We pay early every month and we never bother him with anything. Meanwhile, he's been here for the 2nd floor several times over the last year, fixing God knows what and having to call in an exterminator over the summer because she insisted she found carpenter ants in her cereal. I'll let you digest that. Carpenter ants don't eat cereal; they eat wood. All that fuss for some stupid sugar ants. In any case, now Brian has to meet with the landlord next week to prove there's no room in the garage. This while he's in the progress of bringing the rest of his stuff home from a garage he was renting because we decided it was stupid to pay for a garage elsewhere when we have one here. So while the garage isn't busting at the seams, it will be when the rest of that stuff gets here before January 15th. GRRRRRR! I don't even feel we have to justify ourselves. We pay more rent because we have the use of the garage, and you can't change the terms of a rental agreement at a moment's notice - it's illegal. I know because when I was a landlord, I read all the Landlord-Tenant Laws. Yet, if we stand up for our rights, we could end up homeless. There are no rentals right now, and we're not ready to buy again, so is it worth it in the end? I didn't sleep last night, and Brian is entirely distracted by this mess. Again, I don't understand why a logical person would mess around with the tenants who have paid early and fully every month and never complain to appease those who constantly break the rules. A vacancy is quite difficult to fill in the middle of winter - we've been through that - but he risks us deciding we would leave, too, by doing this. All to accomodate a forbidden item anyway. GRRRRR!!!! Looks like we may be moving in with my MIL! Merry Christmas!

I Really Am Crazy

I planned on being so good today. With all the extra time I had, I intended to do some cleaning around the house, return some items I ordered online that I didn't like, and pick up some more Christmas gifts. No more shopping for me or the baby. I had good intentions...

There's a new shopping plaza under construction a couple towns away. I had to go there to return items at Old Navy and decided to browse around what other shops were there. This is located in an affluent area, so most of the shops held no interest for me, but there was one called Gymboree that sounded interesting. So I checked it out. Tons of adorable stuff, and, as the sales lady was quick to tell me when I entered, everything in the store was 25% off the lowest price on the tag. In this myriad of clothing choices there was one thing lacking - no unisex clothing. I looked around, oohing and ahhing over all the cute stuff, promising to return once the baby comes. Except there was one problem. These adorable holiday dresses that were originally $52, marked down to $19.99. Another 25% off would mean only $15 for a $52 dress! How could I resist? My mom taught me to shop for bargains, and I can't pass up deals like that, regardless of the fact that I have no idea whether we're having a he or a she and this child won't be born until June.

The funny thing is, the dresses were right by the checkout and I was the only one in the store, so the sales lady asked me if I needed any help and for some reason, I felt the need to confess. I really didn't belong there; I was being totally ridiculous. I'm 6 months from my due date with no inclination of whether we're having a boy or girl and I won't know until June. She smiled in a knowing way, admitting that she has 4 children herself and understood. We chatted a bit and found we had some similarities; namely that I am one of 4 children who are all spaced 4 years apart from each other, she is, too, as well as her children. And there were 2 of each gender with she and her siblings, as well as her children (me too!). She kept reassuring me that they have a wonderful return policy there if I end up having a boy (like I would part with it!), but also said she did the same thing and just kept the opposite gender stuff and ended up using it with her other kids. :) This woman thinks like I do!! So yes, I snuck home this holiday dress, in spite of Brian chanting in my head "He'll look funny in a dress" (which is his standard response anytime we're browsing in a store and I end up fawning over the dresses). Oh well, yeah, he will, but maybe he's a she. ;)


(BTW, the color is a much richer red...it got a bit washed out from the flash. But it was just too beautiful to pass up at that price!!)

Second Trimester...

I can't believe I'm already there. 13 weeks 0 days today - the 2nd trimester. 1/3 of the way to the goal. Unbelievable. Brian doesn't seem fazed by this milestone, but it means a lot to me. Maybe I'm not defective after all! ;)

So how will I celebrate? By spending 9 hours at work today...ugh! I guess it could be worse, though. And at least I only have to work 1 hour tomorrow, so another long weekend is in store for me. Of course, I'll spend it in a cookie-making frenzy, but at least I won't be at work.

Woohoo!

Great news today! I decided to check Brian's employee handbook for Ski Sundown on a whim to see if they had an operating schedule in there, and what it contained made my day! Christmas Eve they are open 9AM-5PM (so they'll be closed before he would normally start) and Christmas Day they are open 6PM-10PM (after his shift would normally end). :) :) :) I am all smiles now! :) :) :) Looks like I'll get to share Christmas with him after all!

In other news, I shared my news at work today. One of my co-workers guessed this afternoon that I was pregnant so I decided it was time to tell them all. At 5 minutes before close I told them and was rewarded with the exact phrase I was expecting from my boss: "I told you you'd get pregnant again right away!" Thankfully, I had enough other people offering congratulations without strings attached to help detract from it. But it still hurt that she could be so insensitive without realizing it, especially since she has had a miscarriage herself. At least it's done and over with. Now I don't have to dread telling anymore because it's out in the open and over with. On to bliss again. :)

Stuff

Since Kether asked, this is what I bought while on vacation. I couldn't get really good photos of the onesies, though, so I'm only posting one of them...with the flash on, they got washed out; without it on, they were really grainy. The other one was a yellow kimono style onesie with a cute bunny graphic on it.



Below is the set that set me back some bucks...But it's so adorable! I hope it will fit the baby next winter...I did my best on guessing the size then.



Below is the moose pull-behind toy I couldn't resist either! :)



They even had a boutique there that specialized in skiing and outdoor clothing for infants and children! How cute!! But now it's back to reality...

Brian did get the call from Ski Sundown (his winter part-time job) while we were away...they want him to work Friday nights, Saturdays from 8:30-5, and Tuesday nights. Guess that means I won't be seeing him Christmas Eve or Christmas this year. I'm pretty peeved about that. We usually do Christmas Eve night with my parents, and Christmas morning with his family, then the afternoon with my extended family. All he had to do was say he wasn't available on Christmas; I wouldn't begrudge him working Christmas Eve if I could have Christmas Day with him. Instead I'll have to do it all by myself... Can I just forget about Christmas this year? :(

Vacations Are Too Short

Well, yesterday I hung out in the room for a couple of hours after dropping DH off at the slopes, and then ate my way through Vermont. I started at a cider mill, progressed to the Cabot Annex Store (can't get enough of that cheese, and all the free samples!) and attached Lake Champlain Chocolates, and then to Ben & Jerry's. Did some shopping in Waitsfield and Stowe, including for the baby. I found this adorable boutique in Stowe called Puddle Jumpers and I couldn't resist. To be fair, 2 of the things I bought were on sale, but the last one was a doozy and more than I would normally spend. The girl who waited on me was quite visibly pregnant and asked if I needed anything gift-wrapped. So we ended up getting into a discussion about how I'm planning *really* far in advance, but she seemed to understand. After that, I picked up DH and we ate at Gracie's, a local hangout/restaurant that was centered around a dog theme. It was cute and the food was great (and more reasonably priced than anything else locally!).

As we were relaxing back at the hotel with our bellies full, we discovered Becky picked up some souvenirs from the trip - fleas! UGH!! I had just talked to the vet a week ago about flea/tick preventatives and pregnancy. He thought it would be fine to discontinue the use of it for the winter to reduce my exposure, but that didn't last long. We only found 2 on her, but it only takes 2 to leave eggs behind, so we stopped at Petco on the way home today to get the usual stuff and DH put it on her for me. I'm not touching her for at least 12 hours. Hopefully that will be enough... Lesson learned; don't stay in a hotel catering to dogs unless your dog has flea stuff on. I have to say that I was entirely grossed out once I found them last night, but what do you expect in a hotel full of dogs? I imagine there would be fleas from time to time, unfortunately... But YUCK!

So now I'm home again. It will be nice to sleep in my own bed (especially since I know there are no vermin in it!), but I miss being on vacation. Having someone make the bed for me and clean the bathroom, being able to eat out and not care what I'm eating, and to spend $$$ of course. But it's time to return to the real world, laundry, dishes, and all.

Checking In From Vermont

I love it up here!! Do I really have to go back on Monday? It took a little over 4 hours to get here yesterday, but it was worth it. Unfortunately, there hasn't been much snow yet, but they're expecting some tonight, tomorrow, Monday, Tuesday, and so on and so forth. My kind of weather!

Last night Brian had to go to a meeting for the ski clinic, so I was on my own with Becky (our cocker spaniel) for a few hours. Staying in Two Dog Lodge, a hotel that caters to dog owners, is interesting...one dog barks, and then they all reply. Just as I would doze off (as I was exhausted-I was in my pjs by 4:30PM!), it would start all over again, oftentimes with my dog starting it. Thank goodness they all settled down eventually so I could get some sleep. But not much since Brian and I had to get up early to get him to the clinic on time. I had to drop him off by 8AM; fortunately, we are only 2 miles from the base. The only problem is I discovered at 1:30PM that he forgot his ski boots in the truck!!!! I don't think he will be a very happy person when I see him again at 5PM. (Cell phones don't work up here, so there was no way for him to contact me...)

So while he was skiing (I hope!), I ventured off to St. Johnsbury in search of the Dog Chapel. I'm terrible at reading maps. I can pick out a route to get to my destination, but I have no idea how long it will take. This one took nearly 2 hours, including my quick stop at a well-placed (and the only one I've seen in VT) McDonald's for a pee break. The artist who built the place, Stephen Huneck, also has a gallery there. I was aware that the gallery would be closed and wasn't all that concerned...his artwork is phenomenally expensive for me. But I thought the chapel would be open. It was not. So Becky and I, after driving almost 2 hours just to see this place, had to do our best to see what we could from the outside. There was a doggie door that was not locked, so I peeked at the inside through there and took one photo. :) Hey, I came all that way to see it...I better see something! There are supposed to be beautiful stained glass windows; I could see them from the outside, but it wasn't the same. Guess I'll have to go back in the summer. Photos below...







After that, once again, I had to pee so badly. Fast food places are not exactly abundant and I'm still not so desperate as to attempt gas station bathrooms, but I also knew it would be nearly an hour and a half back to that McDonald's. I remembered that on the way I came, there was a sign for the Cabot Creamery, another place I wanted to check out. As fortune would have it, heading the 6 miles off my path to get there was worth it; I was rewarded with one of the cleanest public restrooms I have ever used. And some tasty cheese, of course!

We went back to Stowe after that, arriving back in town at about 12:30/1PM. I stopped in some of the shops, but didn't really find much to catch my eye. Everything is so expensive. They had a beautiful shop of baby clothes but again, too expensive. So Becky and I walked a bit on the Recreational Path (a paved 5.5 mile path in town). It was slippery with the inch or so of slush on the path, and I found that I'm tiring easily these days. We walked maybe a total of one mile before heading back to the hotel. Becky did some laps around the dog play yard, and then we headed back to our room to rest. I wanted to sleep, but all I can think of is how upset Brian will be about the boots...there's nothing like going to a ski clinic to work on your technique (that cost big bucks) to end up in rental boots that you're not used to. Oh well, that's the way it goes sometimes...

Tomorrow I'll go south toward Ben & Jerry's (yum!) and Warren/Waitsfield. We stayed in that area back in March on a ski trip. It was a nice area that wasn't touristy at all...a place I could see myself living someday. Someday...

12 Down, 28 To Go...

12 weeks. Do my eyes deceive me? I can't believe it's been that long already! It seems like just yesterday I got my BFP, but here I am, on the cusp of the 2nd trimester already. A day I wasn't sure I would ever reach, but yet here I am, and pretty much effortlessly this time.

I dreamt last night that I started spotting, bright pink. I woke up terrified. I haven't had any spotting during this pregnancy (other than a very short and very, very light episode back around Halloween), but with Arabella, I spotted frequently. Hence why my mind equates spotting with failure, loss, the end. I'm glad I didn't wake up to any spotting, but the dream still upsets me...

We leave tomorrow morning for Stowe, Vermont. When my husband originally made plans for this vacation, we weren't sure if I would be joining him on the slopes or not. Now we know I'll be spending the vacation resting in our room, knitting or online (in-room internet access!) or checking out the local sights. I keep teasing him that Becky (our cocker spaniel) and I will just spend all day at Ben & Jerry's eating ice cream. :) It will be nice to get away. And when we get back on Monday night, I'll be that much closer to the 2nd phase of pregnancy. Really unknown territory...

I Couldn't Resist!

Several weeks ago when Kether posted the picture of the Zonk stuffed monster she got for Liam, I fell in love with him. I had searched the internet several times to no avail...well, there were a couple sites that offered him, but I don't usually buy from companies I don't normally deal with. Anyway, on an off chance I might find it, I decided to search eBay yesterday. Imagine my surprise when I discovered there were *several* versions of Zonk! So as not to be copy-cat :) I decided to bid on one that wasn't exactly the same, but just as cute. So this is what I got:



Isn't it adorable??? Thanks, Kether, for bringing to my attention such a cute stuffed animal! I know our babies will love them!

All Things Normal

My OB appointment today was normal. Come in, pee in a cup, get the blood pressure taken and weighed. No protein in the pee, weight was the same as last time (total gain of 3 lbs then), and my blood pressure was lower than it has been before in office - 126/72. She checked my blood pressure log and decided I don't need to monitor my blood pressure anymore - even the times it has peaked at home, it's still been below the point where we'd have to be concerned. She was surprised that I've been hearing the heartbeat for 2 weeks now and thought out loud that maybe I was just hearing my pulse doubling. But sure enough, when she pulled out the doppler, there was Peep's heart beating away just like I've heard it and in the same spot, too. Of course, she tells me afterwards that had she not heard it (which she wasn't expecting to-she didn't even hear her baby's heartbeat as early as I did!), she would have brought me in for an ultrasound. Why couldn't Peep have been shy this time? It would have been nice to get a peek in there at this stage! Then she asked me if I took fertility drugs to get pregnant. She wondered if maybe there was more than one baby in there (I don't know if she came to this conclusion because I told her I heard the heartbeat to the right at first and now it's in the middle, or if she thought she heard 2 in there, or what). To be honest, when I looked at the spot where the heart was beating on my 1st ultrasound, it actually looked like there were 2 bright spots there (hence why I say it looks like s/he was mooning me). But she said I'm measuring where I should be, so she didn't order the u/s to check for multiples either. Twins do run in my family, but since my symptoms haven't been especially bad, I doubt there are two in there. It was just weird how she brought that up today out of the blue like that.

She probably won't be there at my next appointment. She is due in about a month, but she's only taking 6 weeks of maternity leave so she said she'll be back for most of the rest of my pregnancy. Next time I get to see one of the younger doctors. I swear he can't be much older than Brian and I! Should be interesting...it's also been a while since I've seen a male doctor for female issues, but since he probably won't have to look at any of those female issues while I'm there, it shouldn't be too bad. I knew when I got into this that I'd have to rotate, I just really like the doctor I've been seeing lately. :)

Otherwise, the nausea is still there... The doctor offered to give me meds for it, but I declined. It's not intolerable and to be honest, even though I have some cures that work most of the time, I usually don't use them. It's reassuring to feel this way even if it's not comfortable for me. At least I can feel miserable openly around my family now, even if I can't at work. They all know. My grandma was thrilled, especially with the card and ultrasound photos I gave her. She loves getting pictures of all of the grandkids, so I figured I'd give her some. :) I still plan on holding out until after Christmas to tell my boss, though.

Holidays...

This time of year is just too crazy! It doesn't help that I have about 25 cousins who have about 10 children between them...there are birthday parties every month, and this one is no exception. I just found out Friday afternoon that my cousin's son Elijah's 1st birthday party was Saturday night. His birthday is actually around the 23rd, but they didn't want it to get overshadowed by Christmas. This is on top of my cousin Hannah's birthday party today (I think she's 11 or 12 now?) that I already knew about. So off we went to the outlets Friday night to find a gift for Elijah (Hannah was already set). This is the last year, I'm afraid, that I'll be buying for all of these kids. There is no way I can shell out this kind of money and expect to raise a kid on our income.

Yesterday afternoon we went shopping with my MIL. She told my husband that she would get him shoes for his birthday (something she does just about every year) and he has to go shopping with her to pick them out (because he's so darn picky - it's worse than shopping with a woman!!). Anyway, his birthday was back on June 10th but he never remembered to call, so we were taking care of it before Christmas. While we were in the area, we stopped at Babies 'R Us to add that crib to the registry. Of course, I had never told MIL about the registry - I just didn't want her to think I was being greedy since it's so early on. It's really just a planning device right now. Anyway, she had never been in a Babies 'R Us before and seemed to enjoy our trip through there. And then I got scolded (in a nice way) for buying the stroller already - she said I'm supposed to let people buy stuff like that for me. Ha! :) What she doesn't know is that I bought the stroller during a mini-mental breakdown in August when I wasn't even pregnant, but at least I had a good reason. We already had the infant seat from the first time I was pregnant (to see if it would fit in the car I had at the time - it didn't) and I wanted to make sure to get the matching stroller before they discontinued the pattern since the two could be used together as a travel system. At least she understood that. :)

Last night the news was officially released on my mother's side of the family at Elijah's party. I haven't seen any of them since a couple days after I got my BFP. They all knew (well, except for one cousin) but now we're officially talking about it. My cousin who is due 2 days before I am was just too excited when she found out about that and told her mom, so that's how the news spread...but that's okay. Easier than having to do it myself! Today at my cousin Hannah's party, I have a feeling the news will be out officially on my father's side of the family as well. It's weird telling people...I've been keeping it a secret for so long. It somehow seems like I'm jinxing it by talking openly about it, but since that little heart keeps thumping along and nothing has happened to make me doubt the fact that we will in fact have a baby in June, I guess there's no need to be nervous.

Time? What's that?!

Have you ever noticed how, if you're not particular anxious for anything, time can march on without you realizing it? Or maybe it's just me? It's sort of a weird Zen thing that I discovered earlier in the year (since I can't stand my job - it's so repetitive and boring, and my boss is not a nice person). If I just focus on the task at hand and live in the now, the now passes by quickly. One moment, it was Monday and I was dreading the work week (the problem with long weekends, I'm afraid). But once I settled into my routine on Tuesday, it was Friday morning before I knew it. Time really is relative.

Okay, that's my thoughtful post for they day. :) But time really has been swimming by. I decided not to hype myself up with milestones in this pregnancy, so I'm not putting too much stock in any one date. That was almost my undoing last time. So while I'm looking forward to 2 weeks from now (well, 1 week 6 days) because that will be the start of the 2nd trimester, I didn't even start focusing on it until recently. I'm more grateful for the here and now, that I've had as long as I've had with our baby. I still sneak out that doppler every other day to check up on him/her, but I don't spend very long listening. Just long enough to get a sound clip for the website, and that's it. My new goal is to go to every 3rd day, eventually weaning myself off of it entirely. I honestly don't think I'll have a hard time with this.

In pregnancy symptom news, the nausea is subsiding (although it did hit at 4AM when I got up to pee), but I'm tired all the time again. Ugh! I've also started having cramping that lasts for a very short time right above my pelvic bone - must be the uterus stretching again. I can definitely feel it above the bone now, and that's where I've been finding Peep's heartbeat, too. In fact, I've grown a little bit in spite of my very small weight gain (only 1.5lbs)...I'm in my demi panels now. Lastly, even though I've been FREEZING all along since I got pregnant, yesterday I started having hot flashes. They were NOT pleasant. Most of the time, the nausea came on strong with them, but they lasted only 5-10 minutes each, 15 minutes tops. I guess my hormones must be fluctuating big time right now.

Brian is irritated, I think, that I'm not giving him any ideas for Christmas this year. Every time he asks, I say I need stuff for the baby or gift certificates for maternity clothes. But it's true - I don't *need* anything else. We have enough clutter here, why add to it? That was the same "list" that I gave my Mom for Christmas (although I couldn't bring myself to ask for that from my MIL...I don't know why, but it felt greedy to do that). So then I told him I'd like a spa certificate that I can use for a pedicure later when I can't reach my feet, or a pre-labor waxing since it will be June and I'm sure I won't be able to shave at that point. :) I've been trying to get away from material gifts lately anyway. In the end, it's the experiences in life that are most important, so I've been trying to offer experiences to my family instead of "stuff." They all think I'm weird, I'm sure, but at least I get it.