TGIF!

I am feeling MUCH better today! Thank goodness, too, since I'll be spending at least 4 hours in a car this afternoon. We're escaping to New Hampshire for the weekend. Pretty much the whole time we've been together, we've visited the White Mountains region in New Hampshire at least once a year. Brian introduced me to it early on because his father brought him and his sisters up there often. I LOVE that area! Unfortunately, we haven't been able to visit much lately. Last year, with all that was going on with being pregnant, then losing Arabella, then being depressed, then getting pregnant again, we never did make it there. We did go to the Adirondacks to visit Brian's uncle in August (a new favorite!) as well as Warren, Vermont in March 2004 (for both of us to ski) and Stowe, Vermont in December 2004 (for Brian to ski and me to shop). I'm not complaining - we've obviously gotten away quite a bit. I just miss it. The year before we went to New Hampshire in August, but we had Becky with us so we weren't able to do many of the things we normally do.

What's really cool is that this trip will cost us very little (much like our trip to the Adirondacks). A guy Brian has skiied with a couple times offered his condo to us, free of charge. He also ended up with 2 free lift tickets for Cannon and Loon. So that just leaves gas and food. Becky will be staying with my father in law for the weekend, so we don't even have to pay for boarding! I can't wait to get on the road!

In other news, I called my mother to let her know where we would be this weekend (I do that any time we go away). She told me that the crib is ordered (YAY!!) AND it ended up ringing up for $30 less than the sale price! She checked and double checked and it's definitely the right crib...what a great surprise! I asked her what the rails came to (we asked her to order the conversion rails at the same time so the finish would match, but we planned on paying for them) and I got my second surprise - she and my sister decided they would pay for those, too! The rails and crib came to $400 all together, the same as the list price for the crib alone. We have to buy the mattress, but I don't have a problem with that. I guess my mom was so thrilled about the deal she got that she decided to give a little more...and I'm very appreciative!! Let's see... 10 weeks 6 days until my due date, and the crib should be here in about 9 weeks 3 days to 11 weeks 3 days. I'm so impatient though...I hope it comes early!

Ick!

A stomach bug has been going around at work and I'm wondering if I'm incubating it now. I felt fine when I woke up this morning. Ate breakfast, showered, dressed, and went to work. And by 9:30AM, my stomach was starting to turn sour. I got all hot (a wonderful new thing I'm experiencing anyway...hot flashes at the dop of a hat), my head started to feel fuzzy, and my stomach was queasy. Sometimes I feel like this if I'm hungry, so I figured I'd eat my apple and see if it went away. It didn't. I tried peanut butter crackers next, figuring that since fruit *never* fills me up, maybe I just needed something with a little more staying power. Still nothing. By 11AM, I gave my body an ultimatum. It had until noon to go back to normal. If I still felt icky, I would go home.

At about 11:50AM, my boss came over to talk to me and apparently I didn't look so good from the look on her face. She asked what was wrong and as soon as I told her, she said I should go home, that it was probably the same thing she just went through as well as another co-worker in our office. So I did. I'm home now and have been for almost 4 hours.

I'm not good at staying home though... Being there alone (i.e. without somebody in the way) makes me think of all the things I need to do or should be doing. I wrote out a card I've been meaning to do all week. I caught up on email. I started a load of laundry. Finally, I stepped back from it all and laid down on the couch to nap. Obviously, it wasn't a long nap.

Hopefully it is this 24 hour bug that everyone's getting, though, so it will be gone before we leave for our weekend away tomorrow. We're going up to the White Mountains in New Hampshire so Brian can go skiing one last time. I was going to go outlet shopping but I've pretty much blown my spending money on that crib set I ordered yesterday, so I guess I'll just be doing a lot of window shopping. Or sleeping at the condo if this doesn't go away. All I know is, I better have my appetite back because I've been wanting to eat at our 2 favorite restaurants there (the Common Man and the Woodstock Station/Clement Room Grille) for a LONG time now. We used to go visit that area every year for at least a weekend, but last year we went to the Adirondacks instead and the year before, we had Becky with us so we couldn't eat out (we also stayed in a different area about 1 hour away from where we usually stay). It will probably be a while before we get up there again after Peep is born so I'd like to be able to enjoy it. Here's hoping!

I'm So Bad!

I just can't resist all this adorable baby stuff! I reasoned myself out of a bedding set before because of the fact that you only use the bumper for a few months and the diaper stackers that usually are a part of the set are useless... Logically, it's a big waste of money. All the baby needs is a sheet after all... But looking at cribs lately has renewed my interest in crib sets. Seeing all these cribs with beautiful (and *very* expensive sets) made me lust for one for Peep. The company that makes the crib we're getting also makes bedding sets and there was a beautiful dragonfly one by them on display at the local boutique. But it was as much money as the crib!! And while I could have registered for one at Babies R Us, there just wasn't anything there that caught my eye... Well, other than Wendy Bellissimo's Sir Leapsalot, but that's $300!

So I was browsing eBay this morning, looking for a good deal, and I found a custom 5 piece bedding set that fits the bill. I emailed it to Brian because the auction would be ending around noon and waited for a response. The first thing he said was, "Isn't this a bit expensive?" The current bid was $158.99, around the same as all the bedding sets at Babies R Us, which I reminded him. Then he said, "Why don't you register for one and let someone else buy it?" So I had to explain how I didn't like anything they had at BRU. He tried again: "Isn't it a bit girly?" The set is red, sage, and cream with dragonflies and ladybugs. Alright, it's a bit on the girly side...but aren't bugs a boy thing, too? ;) Besides, it's not like Peep will know the difference! "Won't the kid just poop and puke on it?" Well...maybe? But that doesn't mean s/he doesn't deserve a nice set! "We don't have anything that costs that much!" Well, we have our down comforter... "But we don't poop or puke on that!" No...but our dog has peed on it a few times.

He didn't seem happy about it at all, though, so I decided not to get it and we hung up. About 15 minutes later, he called me back. "Check your email." I did as commanded and found an email from him granting permission to get it if I *really* wanted it. So I thought about it...for all of 2 minutes...and put in a bid. And ended up winning it. Yes, it's more money than we've spent on bedding for us. In fact, we don't even have a headboard on our bed, so it's not like we spend money on our own needs. But like I told him, if we convert the crib to a toddler bed before using it as a full size bed, we should be able to get 3-4 years out of it...not to mention using it for our next kid. :) I just hope nobody complains to me about it being too girly... ;)


I think it will look great with our crib!


I can't wait to get the crib and bedding so I can put it all together!!

A Little Fun

I discovered this on another blog today and thought I'd give it a shot:

Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

October
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

My father always dismissed astrology as nonsense. Logically, what he said makes sense. How could thousands/millions of people who share the same birthday have the same fate for the day? How could people born in the same month have the same traits? However, I see myself pretty consistently in a lot of descriptions for Libras, as well as in this one that I happened upon today. How does one explain that, then? And the choice of words here. My first ever handle online (back in the old BBS days): Day-Dreamer. Interesting...

For the heck of it, I checked out Brian's (which will also be Peep's):

June
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

Well, most of that applies. He certainly can be stubborn and a procrastinator. But he's not talkative by far and what's with the "prone to getting colds"? Does this mean I'm in for a hectic childhood with Peep, too? Once again, it's a bit creepy how close (most) of this is!

Daycare, Part 2

We toured the 2nd daycare today. This will be our last tour... There are only 4 daycare centers in town. Of the 4, 1 of them isn't open late enough on Thursdays (the day Brian would have to do pickup). Another is part of the YMCA, and I've seen their daycare rooms before when I had my Y membership - I wasn't impressed. We toured one last Monday, and toured the last one today. I was not impressed with this one, either.

The daycare we toured today always gets rave reviews. Everyone knows someone who has a child there and is pleased. So I really tried to have an open mind. But when I walked in the door and there was no security system in place, nor an office or person anywhere near the entrance, I pretty much lost interest. It seemed too easy for anyone and everyone to waltz in and approach the kids. In addition, the cubbies for information for parents are right by the door, and it's also where parents are supposed to leave payment. There's nothing to stop anyone from just taking your payment envelope and walking away.

It took a few minutes to find someone who knew what was going on, but eventually, we walked into the employee break room and had someone there find a person to take us on our tour. We were brought to the infant room, which really wasn't bad, but were told that they would be moving the room to the one next door because it's warmer in the winter. There was a young girl in there who was in charge (I hesitate to call her a teacher...I'll get into that in a minute) and 4 babies. Their staff:baby ratio is 1:4, just like the other place and as the law requires. All the books say 1:3 is best, but it's nowhere to be found around here. The babies all looked happy, but they were either in exersaucers or on the floor playing by themselves while the caregiver watched or cleaned.

Some of the policies were the same. They fill out an information form every day so the parents know what their child did. But some were not: most noticeably, the lack of focus on education. It appeared that the babies would be plopped down to entertain themselves or play all day (or veg in an exersaucer), which I was not at all fond of. I've said it many times before, but I mean it. If I can't spend all day with my child, I want him/her to learn something. I wouldn't put my baby in an exersaucer all day and I don't expect her caregiver to do so either.

I haven't made my final decision yet, although I am very much leaning toward the other place. They're in the process of rewriting their contract and policy book so I'm waiting for a copy of the revised edition, which I was told would be in about a week. They're also supposed to do some renovations (probably before we would require their services), including *some* kind of security system using a passcode. But it wouldn't restrict access to the building. But everyone says you should follow your gut instincts and mine are telling me to pass, in spite of its convenience (maybe 3 minutes from my house and work) and being $30 cheaper every week. Yes, it will be a struggle to come up with that extra $30 (and that sounds really sad, I know) but to me, it's worth it. I promise to withhold my decision until I have all the information though.

In other news, we did our "Childbirth Education" this weekend. The DVD set arrived on Friday so we watched it Saturday night. It was like Childbirth Class "light". There were no real couples shown (although for some reason, Brian thought some of the "couples" were really couples) and no scenes of actual childbirth (which was fine by me!). It was a little hokey with the humor they tried to infuse it with, but a bit funny, too. I thought it was laid out logically and I did learn a couple things, but not much. Brian asked me if there would be a quiz afterwards when we started watching it and I told him no, but I did ask him a few questions the next day to see if he paid attention at all. Amazingly, he did, LOL! The DVDs didn't get much into the pluses and minuses of "natural" versus medicated childbirth, but I've done my own research on that. I'm still glad we didn't have to go to a "real" class but now I can at least say I'm a little more prepared. I am working on getting a schedule of Infant CPR classes in the area because that was highly recommended by the OB (and with good reason, I believe!). I also wanted to sign up for a breastfeeding class but I haven't found anything that would work with my schedule yet. I guess I better get reading on that!

Resolutions

It was a looooooong weekend after what happened Friday. The weather pretty much reflected my mood: gray and miserable. It's been a while since I've felt so gloomy, but it was hard not to. My mother has had many insensitive moments before, but Friday seemed to take the cake and it really upset me.

Brian put so much effort into trying to pull me out of it. Saturday he planned on shopping for new ski boots (end of season clearance sales) and even offered to bring me to the mall, which he absolutely hates. He couldn't believe it when I refused, but I didn't feel like shopping. We did drive over to the Berlin Turnpike so we could check out USA Baby, since it was closed Friday night when mom and I went. I wish she had been able to get in: she would have seen how reasonably priced the crib we chose was in comparison to the higher-end Italian brands and others that were $600+. In the middle of the store, we found the crib we wanted on sale for $330, $30 cheaper than the local boutique. They also offered no-fee layaway with only 1/2 down to order it and the rest due when it comes in, or I could make payments along the way.

I woke up from a restless sleep at about 4:45AM on Sunday (well, really 5:45AM...I forgot to set the clock ahead) with an idea. Brian and I had put aside some money for the important things we'll need in case we don't get them at a shower (convertible carseat, breast pump, etc.). I decided that we could probably manage to come up with half of the cost of the crib to put it on layaway, and in the 10 weeks that it would take for the crib to come in, we should be able to put aside enough money to pay off the rest of it. I didn't like the idea of mom being able to hold this crib over me like she is...it just isn't right. I was so excited, I ended up waking Brian up at about 5:30AM (6:30AM) to tell him my plan. It seemed like the perfect solution to me, even though it would make money a bit tighter. I was so crestfallen when he dismissed it entirely and rolled over to go back to sleep.

Much of Sunday morning was spent trying to convince him that my plan was the only way to go. He kept saying, "Why should we pay for it if she will? We don't have the money." But it really bothered me how much she complained about it on Friday. I told him she could always buy something closer to what she planned on spending in the first place if she wanted to get us a gift... It took a while, but I finally convinced him around 12:30PM. I called my mother next to give her the news... Thank you, but we will buy the crib since it's more money than you want to spend. I rehearsed it over and over again in my head, hoping I could get the words out the way I planned and without sounding like a whiney child. Ring ring ring...my brother answers. He has no idea where mom is and dad is taking a nap. Nobody else is home. So I try her cell phone. Ring ring ring...voicemail. Somehow, it's easier to get it all out when I know she won't interrupt me. But this leaves us in a pickle...what if she's out getting the crib? Not likely, but it wouldn't work to end up with 2 of them, so now we have to wait for her to call back. Sometimes she works on the weekends so I tried her work number...no answer. So I paged her. Still nothing. I try my parents house again to see if my dad has awakened, but he has not. My brother tells me he also tried paging mom, so all we can do is wait. Within 15 minutes, she calls back...

Her attitude is entirely different than it was on Friday. She tells me that she *is* buying the crib and will be going tomorrow (Monday) to put it on layaway. She said she thought about it and decided the other ones were really cheaply made and besides, my sister will be pitching in toward the cost of it anyway. So now I feel like the fool because I have no idea what to say to her... I try to explain my point of view, that we wanted to do this because it was more money than she wanted to spend, but nope... She's over that now. She's going to buy it.

I tell Brian and of course, he's thrilled. But I'm worried. I know my mother wouldn't have come to a revelation like that on her own. Who do I have to thank for the turnabout? Even if she's feeling differently about it now (or faking it), I have a feeling this will come up again sometime later on in mom's tallies of how expensive each of us has been for her. While we couldn't really afford it, I still kind of wish we had just been able to get the crib ourselves... Then I wouldn't have to worry about when this will come back to bite me in the end. But I'm happy it's being taken care of at least... I have to take solace in the good things, right?

As for the smoking, I have no idea what to do about that. I've told her many times that our child will not visit her house if she doesn't quit. She didn't smoke for 13-14 years. In that time my father did smoke, but he was forced to do so outside...she smokes in the house so the whole place smells like an ashtray. She claims she will quit before the baby comes (my father does, too) but seeing as there are only 11.5 weeks left, it's getting less and less likely to happen. It's her own house, I know, and she can do whatever she wants there. We just won't go there. But the problem obviously is that she has no consideration even when she's outside her home and I'm not sure how to deal with that. I don't understand how, after how abundantly clear I've made it that I do not want her to smoke around me or around our child-to-be, she continues to be so oblivious. And while it isn't right to keep a child from his/her grandparent, right now, it's the only solution I can see to prevent this health issue from becoming a problem for us.

I Should Have Known Better

Yesterday was crib shopping day with Mom. She had actually picked out the crib she would buy us about a month and a half ago at Babies R Us (a $200 single-dropside crib with a lot of plastic parts). But when I showed it to Brian, he was not impressed. Neither was I when she said she would buy it, but I didn't want to "look a gift horse in the mouth", know what I mean? So I bit the bullet and mentioned to her that Brian didn't really like the crib she picked out and asked if she would go with me to look at the cribs at a local baby boutique since they're having a sale right now. She agreed to go with me Friday after she got out of work.

She arrived at my apartment reeking of smoke. We've discussed this many times now. My mom had quit smoking in 1989 but started again a couple years ago when she and my father were going through a rough spot in their marriage. When she was a non-smoker, she couldn't tolerate the stench of smoke in the least. Yet now that she smokes, and even though I've asked her many times not to smoke around me (even when not pregnant because I have allergies and asthma), she refuses to listen. No problem... It was only supposed to be a quick trip to the shop 5 minutes from my house. I climbed into her ashtray on wheels and we drove on over.

The whole time we were in the boutique, she loudly complained about the prices, and most certainly while within earshot of the saleslady. Having done my research for months now, I know pretty well what the range in prices is on cribs. We tried to pick out the best quality crib we could for the lowest price. Brian and I had gone there the night before and picked out the Baby's Dream Infinity crib, a stationary crib made of solid wood that converts to a toddler bed and then becomes the head- and footboards for a double bed. It was priced at $360, but that was still way too much money in her eyes (the woman who just spent $6000 on her bedroom set). She asked me if anywhere else carried this crib, like Baby Depot at Burlington Coat Factory (which I didn't even get into the horrible return policy at the Burlington Coat Factory). I did recall that there was one other store, USA Baby in Berlin. But I also had an appointment at 4:30PM to tour another daycare. Not wanting to lose an opportunity, I called the daycare and rescheduled to Monday at 5:00PM.

We stopped to put air in my mom's tire because it was low (or rather, I put air in her tire because she didn't know how... yes, pregnant me was squatting down in the puddle she parked in putting air in the tire). It was at this time that we discovered there was a rusty nail in her tire, the cause of the leaking air. So she decided we would go to the tire place she uses to get it patched, and then off we would go.

We get to the tire place and they tell her they can't repair her tire because the tires are bald, so she has to get new tires instead. New tires that she had picked out with my father recently: they cost $676. They claimed it would have been 45 minutes to patch the tire (Brian patches tires all the time and I know it doesn't take 45 minutes) but only an hour to change all her tires. It's now 2:45PM. We waste time waiting for it to get done, mom smoking a cigarette around me in spite of my protests. The truck isn't ready until 4:30PM.

Off we go again, but not until mom stops at the bank to do a deposit and then Dunkin' Donuts to get coffee. Now we're finally off to find USA Baby. I do the best I can getting her to the Berlin Turnpike (it's been a while). On the drive there, mom smokes once again in the car, telling me to just roll the window down and put my head out it. We get off the highway and turn left instead of right... Finally, we turn around and head in the right direction. It takes some scrutinizing of signs, but we find it. We walk up to the door...and it's locked. USA Baby closed at 6:00PM. It was now 6:10PM.

So mom decides we're not going to waste a trip and we go into Toys R Us to see what they have. I already know what we'll find there and sure enough, it was the cheapest of brands possible, and all of the display cribs were falling apart. So she decides we should go down the road more to see if we can find anything else. We stop at Bassett Furniture Direct, because I know Bassett makes cribs, but there were none to be found. While eating at Panera Bread, we see a sign across the street for a kids' bedroom store, so we head there next (mom smoking on her way to the car).

We go in the kids' furniture store and I'm in love. So much cute stuff and reasonably priced. They have all of 5 or 6 cribs, mostly Bonavitas (which are notorious for taking 5 months or so to come in when you order them). But there is one that's in stock and ready to go home for $300. Nope, mom complains once again about how there aren't any reasonably priced cribs. We walk out of there empty-handed and mom grouchy.

On the drive home, she gets a phone call from a friend. She complains to her friend about the over-priced cribs and what a waste it is because kids will just destroy it anyway. (I should mention that the crib we started off looking at has a 15 year warranty for 3 kids... sure, cribs will fall apart if you buy the cheap ones, but she can't seem to see past the price.) Basically, I felt like crap after that. Nothing like offering a gift to someone and then complaining the whole time about having to do it.

We get into town and mom has to pick my youngest brother up at my aunt's house. While waiting in front of the house for him to come out, she takes out her 4th cigarette of the afternoon. I asked her if she could just wait 15 minutes until she dropped me off and her response: "If you expect me to pay $400 on a crib for you, you'll sit there and deal with it."

I got home and cried in the shower, washing off the stench of the afternoon and wishing I could find a way to just say "No, thanks" to her "gift." My mom has a history of not giving anything freely. I should have known better. When I was 18, my parents bought me a car: a 1984 Chevy Chevette. They paid $900 for it and I was supposed to pay them back, but I only got it down to $700 that I owed them before I totalled it. I offered to pay them back a couple years ago when we sold our house, but my mom refused it. I should have known why: just at Easter, she was complaining about how she spent $700 on a car for me 10 years ago. I couldn't take it that time (because it wasn't the first) and reminded everyone that I offered to pay it back but she refused the money. Nothing given freely...

So will my child be forever indebted to my mother for this crib? It certainly seems like I will... And how is it right that I have to subject my health (and our baby's) to her smoking because I "expect" her do this for me? I wish I could find a way to just say, "No, thanks... I'll find another way." I wish I could find a way to say that about everything. And then pack up and move across the country where she'll never visit me again and never subject our child to her selfish ways.

I do have to say that yesterday supported my decision to not allow our child around her alone. Brian and I had discussed it long ago and decided that our child would not go to Grandma's house alone because of her smoking. She can't seem to manage to control herself around me when I protest it actively, so who's to say she wouldn't do the same around our baby when I'm not there?