GRRRRRR!

Oooooh, my blood is boiling right now! I made a grooming appointment for my dog for today and was supposed to drop her off at 8AM. The groomers is in the next town over and while I don't particularly like the woman, my dog does, so we've stuck with her. So I got up early today so I could drop her off, knowing I only had about 10 minutes to get her set up before I had to leave to be on my way to work. I got there at 8AM and found the lights were off and the door was locked. The sign on the door said they were closed until 9AM. Now what? In a bit of a panic, I called Brian to get the number for the place, hoping she was inside and just hadn't unlocked the door yet. 5 minutes later, I got the answering machine. So I left a message telling her that I was there, she wasn't, the sign said she wouldn't be there until 9AM, and I thought she should know. I then proceeded to call work to tell them I would be late because I now had to drive all the way home again to drop my dog off before going to work. While I was on the phone and leaving (now 8:10AM), I saw someone pull in. I wondered if it was her, but it didn't matter...the damage was already done in my eyes. Frantically I drove home, only to find a message on my machine when I got there. The woman said she saw me when she pulled in, she wondered why I left like I did, and that it was only 5 OF 8AM at the time. She said the sign didn't mean anything, it was just an open/closed sign with hours on it and they don't mean anything. Okay, that's news to me...I always thought stores put their hours up and adhered to those hours, but whatever. Anyway, she wanted me to call. Meanwhile, Becky was waiting at the door like she was thinking, "What are you doing, Mom? Aren't we going for a ride??" Her cries as I locked the door behind me broke my heart...how dare this woman do this to her? Normally she isn't this upset when I go to work, but because her routine was all messed up this morning, she didn't understand what was going on. I felt horrible.

I've been known to over-react before, but I don't think I am this time. When you set up a particular time to be at a business, you expect them to be there and ready for you before you arrive. Sure, she showed up as I was leaving, but what good does that do to me? I have a tight schedule in the morning...At that point, I was already supposed to on my way to work, not waiting for the woman to open shop so I could drop my dog off. And yes, I did see her as I was leaving (although I wasn't 100% sure it was her), but it didn't matter to me then. The damage was already done. She was unprepared and unprofessional, neither of which I tolerate. And to call me and make excuses was the lowest of low. Whatever happened to the customer being right, especially since I WAS right. It's not my fault her clock is slow by 10 minutes...mine is set by the cell tower for my cell phone! I highly doubt they are 10 minutes fast, especially since it's the same time we use at work, where I had to be by 8:30AM.

GRRRRRRRR!!!!! Time to find another groomer...

Arabella

Today was my due date for my pregnancy with Arabella. Hard to imagine that if we had not lost her, I could have been holding a baby in my arms now. I would be on my maternity leave most likely. And even if I didn't have her already, she probably would be coming soon. What an exciting week this would have been.

Instead, it's been full of reflection and reverance. I don't want to forget her. No baby can ever replace her. I found peace long ago with the little time we had with her, discovered that she completed what she was supposed to do in that short time which was why she had to move on. I still wish I had had more time, but without her sacrifice, we wouldn't have Peep on the way now. It was meant to be.

Arabella, you're in my thoughts today. And in my heart forever.

I'm A Winner!

Seriously, I am! I went to the Baby Fest at Babies 'R Us on Saturday. It was a tad disappointing - more handing out brochures than real demonstrations - but it was a nice opportunity to get my mom into the store for the first time. While we were there, we entered a raffle. I didn't pay much attention to what it was for, just figured I'd give it a shot to win whatever they were giving away. Well yesterday when I came home at lunch, there was a message on the machine that I had won the raffle. Can't say that's ever happened before. So I headed over there today after work to find out what I won, and this is what it was:

Not bad! :)

Dreams

I woke up in the middle of the night from this dream:

At a house that was not mine (but symbolically was), my water broke. I only had one contraction and then nothing else, so I continued with what I was doing at the time while Brian and my sister ran around getting stuff together. I ate lunch because I knew I wouldn't be allowed to eat. As they wandered around, I then ended up in an auto mechanic's shop looking for Brian. But the only person there was a mechanic who was a guy I knew from school. He sent me on my way. Next thing I knew, I was at the symbolic hospital, hooked up to machines in a bed, but I was upset because I didn't bring anything to the hospital with me. My husband and sister were wandering the hospital... The doctor came in (not my doctor) and said we weren't getting anywhere. I told him to do what needed to be done to get things going and he put a mask on my face for laughing gas. The next thing I know, some time had passed since I had my baby, and I'm now hopping from large cluster of mushrooms to cluster, leaving my symbolic house in the forest because it's been sold but not afraid of what's next. A white wolf meets me at the road, and as some voice-over (because many of my dreams are like movies) speaks of what tomorrow will bring, the white wolf and I walk down the road into a sun (not sure if it was setting or rising, but it seemed more like it was setting).

So far I've figured out the white wolf means guidance, and if I woke up not afraid from the dream, then it was a positive omen and I should follow the guidance given. ??? Pretty bizarre.

Checklists

Let the checklists begin!! There are about 18 weeks left now and I feel the need to cross off things on my To-Do list. Up until now, it was a mental list, but I decided today that perhaps I should put it down on paper. Organization is the key, after all. So this is what I have:

Need To Do Still:
* ***Look For New Apartment***
* Tour Hospital’s Labor & Delivery
* Sign Up For Childbirth & Breastfeeding Classes
* Interview Daycare Opportunities In The Area (see list from online)
* Contact Dr. C’s Office About Being Baby’s Pediatrician
* Get Any Necessities Not Received At Shower (wipes, diapers, diaper ointment, rubbing alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, Q-tips, cotton balls, baby shampoo/soap, washcloths, towels, baby Tylenol, thermometer, Vaseline, bottle brush, baby grooming kit, etc.)
* Install Infant Carseat/Carrier in Blazer
* Wash The Baby’s Clothes & Pack ‘N’ Play Sheets
* Figure Out Drive Route To Hospital
* Pack Hospital Bag With Stuff For Me & Baby (including going home outfits-refer to books for specifics)

All Set Already:
* Pack ‘N’ Play With Bassinet & Changing Surface Purchased & Set Up
* Infant Carseat/Carrier Purchased
* Stroller Purchased (works as Travel System)
* Baby’s Coming Home Outfit Purchased
* 5 Side-Snap T-Shirts For In The Beginning Purchased
* 15+/- Onesies & Sleepers Purchased Up To Size 9-12 Months
* 2 Cases of Small Diapers Purchased (chlorine-free type)
* Selected Crib & Armoire With Mom To Be Received At Shower

Alright ladies...what am I missing?

As you can see by the last item on my list, I made some progress over the weekend. I invited my mother to go to the Baby Fest at Babies 'R Us on Saturday. It was not what I expected; I was hoping for better demonstrations, but it was mostly just handing out pamphlets. In any case, I was able to check out the new cribs they had and Mom got into the act. She helped me shake them up (while commenting "What do you expect this child to do in the crib???") and check out the craftsmanship. Next thing I knew, she was talking about which one she would buy--not what I was expecting at all, but a very pleasant surprise. We didn't go with my first choice since it was quite expensive, but it's still a nice set. The crib can be seen here: Honey Pine Single Dropside Crib. The armoire isn't on their website, but it's the same one that Kether got, just in honey pine instead of white. (I hope you don't mind that I linked to your nursery pictures, Kether!!!) What a relief knowing that's been taken care of! Mom also picked up a couple of sleepers at Babies 'R Us, in spite of her warning before we went that she would NOT buy anything. Brian and I also went to the outlets in Lee, Massachusetts yesterday looking for clothes for him and picked up a couple of sleepers and side-snap t-shirts there at a discount. I know what I said, but this is not my crazed-shopping experiences of the past...I just took advantage of deals I found while I happened to be around them. :)

Bye Bye Doppler

I did it! I packed it up and shipped it back today! The doppler, that is. I haven't really felt the *need* to use it in well over a month now, maybe even longer. Crazy considering how worried I was in the beginning, and I certainly had no *physical* evidence that everything was okay other than the doppler. In spite of that fear, and even the scare I had around Christmas when I had a small amount of spotting, Peace settled in and made herself comfortable. So I figured why should I waste money on the doppler if I don't feel I need it anymore. Peep kicks once in a while now, ensuring I don't forget s/he's in there. And when s/he's quiet, I'm still content. It was time.

Another crazy thing has happened... I don't have that *drive* anymore to go shopping for baby stuff. Maybe I'm just too tired, but it's just not there. Yes, I know a baby is coming. Yes, I set up my registry early on so I could keep track of what we would need and I've read probably a half dozen or so books (I'm even in the middle of Baby Bargains right now!), but I just don't feel the need to peruse the baby section or trek on over to Babies R Us. It's like I've hit that point where I know I don't need to shop to make myself feel better about everything...I just do. And yes, this lack of shopping drive has only been for the last week, and we all know what a shopaholic I am--it could turn around at any point. But I really don't think it will, at least not for the reasons I used to shop.

A Doll For Becky

Considering our dog Becky's reaction to the pack 'n play last week, as well as her concern that the baby's toys are hers, we decided to start a little early in acclimating her to all things baby. One of the things I had read about was to get a doll and practice having the dog on her best behavior when the doll is in your arms. Another suggestion was to get a tape of baby noises so the dog can get used to it. I figured I'd save a step and I bought a doll that makes baby noises. Sure, it's not the greatest quality, but I figured having a doll that made noises would help her expect that a real baby would make noises randomly as well. Or maybe I'm just giving her too much credit. :) We practiced last night. At first, Becky did well and sat at my feet while I cradled this ridiculous "Baby So Fun". So I told her she was a good girl and petted her. But when I sat on the couch, she jumped right up to see what was going on. She got off right away when I told her to, but this is obviously going to take some work. She also got quite excited when the "baby" made noises, so I'm glad we're starting early. I think she has it in her to be a good dog around our baby, we just need to practice. Sure, I feel pretty ridiculous buying my dog a doll and practicing with her, but we do what we have to do.