Biding My Time

We spoke with my father on Sunday and it looks like this is a go. He's already talking about getting the floors done (the carpet will be ripped up, hardwood floors will go down). He estimates our move-in date as October 1st. That's one month later than I had hoped, but getting any date out of him makes me feel more secure that this will happen. I've already started the countdown... 65 days until I can put in my 2 weeks' notice at work. I'm thrilled!

BTW, today is the 1 year anniversary of when my father died. Fortunately, they revived him and he has recovered well from his heart attack. It's freaky to think that in just one hour, at that time last year, I was on my way to the hospital not knowing what to expect. I'm grateful he's still alive.

I'm also looking for suggestions. I'm now considering being a home consultant/home demonstrator once I become a SAHM. But I'm not sure which company to go with. I need something that will give me a steady income of at least $150/week, after taxes (preferably, $200/week). I have a friend who is a Tastefully Simple consultant and, of course, she highly recommends going with them. The advantage is that if someone wants a party on a day I won't do it (Sundays) I can refer them to her. But I'm afraid to be around food. Gourmet food, no less, which means lots of calories and fat. I don't wear make-up, so Mary Kay and Avon would be very awkward for me. I'm just not a high maintenance chick. Anyway, any advice? Suggestions?

When Time Does Not Fly...

It looks like our plans may take longer than expected. My father still has not told my mother of his intention to have us move in. He also planned on finishing the basement during his 4 weeks of vacation (which start in 1 week), but now he's planning on going away for 2 of those weeks. My heart sunk. I know we've only had these plans for a few days, but I've already begun the countdown to when I can give my notice at work (5 weeks and 6 days, as of this moment). I don't want to go there anymore. I want to be home with Margaret. I don't know how much longer I can last beyond our plans...

We did start decluttering though. There will be a neighborhood tag sale in my parents' neighborhood next Saturday and mom said I could bring some things up. So Brian worked on cleaning the garage (looks like that will require quite a few more days) and while Maggie napped, I started going through our stuff in the basement. I look around and feel overwhelmed by everything that we need to sort through, pack, possibly store, and the rest move to my parents' house. Plus we'll (read: I'll) need to paint the rooms before we move in, clean up this place where we've been for 5 years after we move... I plan on having 2 weeks overlap when I won't be working but will be in the process of moving (and I'll keep Maggie in daycare for those 2 weeks) to make it a little easier. You never realize how much *STUFF* you have until you have to move it.

Hopefully, I'll still be moving it...

What you don't know is that we were supposed to move in with my parents 3 years ago. When we weren't too happy about being landlords anymore, my father convinced me to sell the house and move in with them to save money. We put the house on the market, sold it... and then my sister's boyfriend moved in. Even though my dad threatened to kick him out, in the end, he stayed. As my mother put it, "he's family". So much for blood relations. ::rolling eyes:: In any case, that left us homeless (in a sense) and it ruined our plans of paying off the debt at that time. That's how we ended up staying in the same apartment and renting it back from the new owner of our house.

Brian keeps telling me not to get my hopes up this time. My father has a history of being wishy-washy. But he seemed so excited that I figured that wouldn't even factor into it this time. It looks like I better prepare myself. Because I have a feeling that being stuck here, and being stuck at my crappy job, may wreak havok on my mental health if I set myself up to move/quit my job and neither happen.

Congrats To My Cousin!

One of my cousins, who has struggled with infertility for several years now and also has PCOS, is now outside of the first trimester of her first pregnancy! Woohoo!! She's due on our grandmother's birthday in January (the same grandmother from which Margaret received her middle name). It's just so wonderful to see those who have struggled with fertility to finally get what they've wanted so badly. We're all resting much easier now that she's in the 2nd tri.

Stop The World, I'm Ready To Get Off

It's been a tough last few weeks. Depression had its hold on me, wrecking all that was good. The constant rain didn't help. But it seemed like the weight of the world was coming down on me, and I just couldn't deal with it.

Work couldn't be worse. My boss, like many others, I'm sure, has taken to making my life completely miserable while I'm there. I'm babysat and constantly ridiculed or harassed in front of the rest of the staff, as well as customers. The most recent incident actually could have put my life in danger.

Daycare is making me more and more unhappy. The people are nice, but they often screw things up. They've lost some of Margaret's back-up clothes. They gave her another child's lunch one day (which can be pretty serious since she does have some sensitivities). And this is on top of the frequent (becoming even more frequent) illnesses. After having the trots only a couple of weeks ago, we were called in on Monday to pick her up because she had a fever of 102 degrees and there was a classroom-wide exposure to hand-foot-mouth disease. Great.

Finances. Nobody's ever really happy with theirs, are they? But our financial situation has become rather scary. We get by. But after everything is paid, there's no money left. Last month, I even had to charge groceries a few times.

Our living situation. I hate living where we do. The neighbors are noisy and smoke. The apartment is small. The landlord never mows the lawn so we can't even take Margaret outside. And they're doing renovations right now: repairing the front porch on our level, ripping up the retaining wall out front and replacing, painting the house, and they'll be ripping up the driveway shortly, too. I hate it.

I finally broke down, while out to get Margaret's Flovent on Monday (because the asthma has returned), and found myself driving to my parents' house, where I poured my heart out. It was so unlike me. My father has since decided that the best thing he can do for us is to have us move in with them (he even suggested doing this until Margaret is in school full time!). He's very excited about this plan, although I'm a bit worried that my mother will make our lives miserable.

Regardless, my father is ready to help us get back on our feet. He then told me he didn't think I should continue working where I am, and even said he would be fine with me being a SAHM while we live with them. Brian, however, is not fine with that plan. But I will be quitting my job when we move there, and I'll pick up a part-time night job (something that's about 6PM to midnight or so) to bridge the gaps. With the money I'll get from quitting my job, I'll be able to pay off at least 1 credit card in full, possibly 2, leaving a much more manageable debt.

So here I am, counting the days. I get to get out of this crappy house, say bye-bye to my job, and not have to worry anymore about what they may or may not be doing at daycare. And I'll get to spend my days with Margaret!!

Which, in turn, has brought about something else unexpected... Baby fever. It just started. Now it seems possible that we *can* have another. And seeing as my father is always asking when I'll be giving Margaret a brother, I have a feeling he would be pretty happy about that, too.

The future is beginning to look bright again. Is it the end of August yet?

ETA: I almost forgot!! Margaret's labs came back just fine! Hooray!!! no concerns about elevated lead levels here!

Healthy As Can Be

Maggie is now fully recovered from the trots. She had her one year appointment at the pediatrician's yesterday. Our little heifer :) is now 26 lbs 5.5 oz and 31 inches tall!!! I figured she was around 26 lbs, although many 2T clothes are still loose around her waist. She scored very well on development (the only one he told me specifically was language, which she's in the 75th percentile on that... but I saw what he wrote on the rest of the page and she was past all the benchmarks). Then I was reminded why I chose this doctor...

We got on the discussion of milk. It was discovered a few weeks ago that Maggie may have a lactose sensitivity. She's been on soy formula since her first case of diarrhea in October, when we couldn't get her back on regular formula because the diarrhea would come back. About a month ago, Maggie started refusing her formula. Her doctor's office (another staff member) told me we could start her on milk then. She likes it just fine... but the diarrhea (not the sick kind, the "I can't handle this stuff" kind) came back. So the office told me to try soy milk. I'm not terribly fond of soy to begin with. The only reason why we stuck it out with soy formula is that it was supposed to be a temporary thing. I didn't want soy for the long run. So we tried almond milk, but she didn't like that. Since then, she's gone back to drinking formula, but only 12-16 oz a day. She does eat a serving of Stonyfield Farm Yo Baby yogurt every day, and some cheese, so she's not totally intollerant of milk products. It's just that she can't handle large doses of lactose.

I talked with her doctor about this yesterday and he got excited, told me to hold on a minute, and ran out of the room to get some papers for me. He came back and declared that she doesn't have to drink milk in any form. As long as she can get enough calcium from food sources (which 1 oz of cheese and a serving of yogurt exceed the calcium requirements of a child her age), we don't need to worry about it. Then he started to tell me about a colleague who had to give up dairy with her last child because he was intollerant. She had eczema all of her life, but it cleared up once she gave up dairy. She was amazed. I was thrilled the conversation went here! I commented on how many people are allergic to milk and don't even realize it, and he agreed. Then I mentioned how a naturopath had once visited one of my classes and told us how we're not designed to drink milk; how you don't see any other animals drinking other animals' milk. He laughed and agreed! He also said that in parts of the world where there's increased milk consumption, there's also increased heart disease, and they're finding a link in this. I was so happy to find that he had similar views as I do about milk!!! Our old mainstream doctor would not have been so understanding... nor would we even have had that conversation probably since he always rushed us out the door.

Anyway, she had 2 vaccinations and blood drawn (to check lead levels since we live in a house built in 1910). Poor girl! But she was just fine afterwards. They all commented on how good she was and how I should have a bunch more, right now. 8O I said "Sure, once I win the Lotto!!"

BTW, in case you're wondering, the nose piercing was saved. I had to drive a half hour to get something else to put in there, but it didn't close up! I'm sure you're overjoyed! ;)

I'm Such An Idiot

Last night I finished up everything I needed to do early. So I figured, at about 9:30PM, that I would change out the jewelry in my nostril piercing. It should be healed by now and I have another nose screw (sounds like something dirty, eh? ;) ) that has a gem I like better in it. It took me about a half hour, but I finally did get the original nose screw out. The thing is, I should have stopped when I found it difficult to remove. I should have known better. 1 hour later, after countless attempts, I could not get either the new or original nose screws in. I was in tears. I didn't want to lose the piercing, but there's nowhere you can go at 11PM around here to get a piercer to put the jewelry in for you. Feeling like a fool, I stuck in some fishing line as a makeshift retainer and called it a night.

This morning, my nose hurts so much!! I'm home with sick Maggie again so I called my sister before she left for work and begged her to stop at the body piercing studio in the town where she works to get me a retainer. She has a friend who has a nostril piercing, too, who has shown her many times how to remove and re-insert nose jewelry, so she thought it was pretty funny. Hopefully, it doesn't close up before she gets here.

Yes, another sick day with Maggie. Diarrhea. It seems she gets a bout of this *every* month and it always lasts about a week. I keep thinking of this report I read, "One Sick Day Away", every time I have to call in sick to work for her. I guess a lot of employers are not that understanding about family matters like this. I was telling Brian about the report and he said "But they can't fire you because you're home with your sick daughter! You have plenty of sick time!" (Which I do have about 4 weeks banked and I earn 1.5 days for every month I work...sadly, I haven't accumulated in a long time.) But what he doesn't understand is that they find ways around it. And any mom who has been forced to stay home often with a sick child knows how easy it would be for their employer to claim that work quality has suffered so you get the boot. I mean, missing 2 days on average per month will make your work quality suffer, no doubt about it. And it's not like I can do my job at home. But there isn't a darn thing I can do about it either. All of my family works, and Brian only gets 5 sick days a year, so I'm the likely candidate to stay home when she's ill. I have no choice in the matter. So far, my boss has *seemed* understanding, saying she remembers those days from when her kids were babies. But she's also been known to be a totally different person when you're not around, if you know what I mean, so who knows...

Life goes on...

OMG!!! It's been so long!

How could nearly 2 months have passed since my last entry? The time has really flown by!

I've been a bit obsessed with a healthier lifestyle (and therefore, weight loss) over the last couple of months, so I've been spending the bulk of my time: reading articles on how to break bad habits and build good ones; tracking calories; exercising; etc. It's been all-consuming - but it's been working, too! Since April 21st, I've lost 21.6 lbs!!! I have a long way to go still, but I was able to reach my pre-pregnancy weight by Maggie's birthday!!






And yes, Maggie is now a one year old!! We celebrated with our immediate families on June 17th. Poor girl didn't even know what to do with her cupcake! Daddy had to help her out!

She's also officially a toddler, having learned to walk a few weeks ago!!! She's been keeping me very busy now that she's so mobile, constantly climbing on the furniture and trying to make long distance calls on the cordless phone or change the outgoing message on our answering machine. And if she can't have her way, she throws MASSIVE tantrums. My mom said I was the same way. She's thrilled.

I can't believe how much Maggie has changed over the last year. At this time last year, we were learning the ropes as inexperienced new parents with our new little "blob". Now, she's walking, crawling, climbing, laughing, "talking", using her imagination all the time, drawing (she even knows to stay on the paper...for the most part!), and she clearly has her own little personality. She tries to manipulate and is very opinionated. She very much is a little person, and it's totally amazing to me! The time truly does fly by and before we know it, she'll be all grown up. But I'm not wishing for that anytime soon. I'm just trying to savor the here and now.