Stop The World, I'm Ready To Get Off

It's been a tough last few weeks. Depression had its hold on me, wrecking all that was good. The constant rain didn't help. But it seemed like the weight of the world was coming down on me, and I just couldn't deal with it.

Work couldn't be worse. My boss, like many others, I'm sure, has taken to making my life completely miserable while I'm there. I'm babysat and constantly ridiculed or harassed in front of the rest of the staff, as well as customers. The most recent incident actually could have put my life in danger.

Daycare is making me more and more unhappy. The people are nice, but they often screw things up. They've lost some of Margaret's back-up clothes. They gave her another child's lunch one day (which can be pretty serious since she does have some sensitivities). And this is on top of the frequent (becoming even more frequent) illnesses. After having the trots only a couple of weeks ago, we were called in on Monday to pick her up because she had a fever of 102 degrees and there was a classroom-wide exposure to hand-foot-mouth disease. Great.

Finances. Nobody's ever really happy with theirs, are they? But our financial situation has become rather scary. We get by. But after everything is paid, there's no money left. Last month, I even had to charge groceries a few times.

Our living situation. I hate living where we do. The neighbors are noisy and smoke. The apartment is small. The landlord never mows the lawn so we can't even take Margaret outside. And they're doing renovations right now: repairing the front porch on our level, ripping up the retaining wall out front and replacing, painting the house, and they'll be ripping up the driveway shortly, too. I hate it.

I finally broke down, while out to get Margaret's Flovent on Monday (because the asthma has returned), and found myself driving to my parents' house, where I poured my heart out. It was so unlike me. My father has since decided that the best thing he can do for us is to have us move in with them (he even suggested doing this until Margaret is in school full time!). He's very excited about this plan, although I'm a bit worried that my mother will make our lives miserable.

Regardless, my father is ready to help us get back on our feet. He then told me he didn't think I should continue working where I am, and even said he would be fine with me being a SAHM while we live with them. Brian, however, is not fine with that plan. But I will be quitting my job when we move there, and I'll pick up a part-time night job (something that's about 6PM to midnight or so) to bridge the gaps. With the money I'll get from quitting my job, I'll be able to pay off at least 1 credit card in full, possibly 2, leaving a much more manageable debt.

So here I am, counting the days. I get to get out of this crappy house, say bye-bye to my job, and not have to worry anymore about what they may or may not be doing at daycare. And I'll get to spend my days with Margaret!!

Which, in turn, has brought about something else unexpected... Baby fever. It just started. Now it seems possible that we *can* have another. And seeing as my father is always asking when I'll be giving Margaret a brother, I have a feeling he would be pretty happy about that, too.

The future is beginning to look bright again. Is it the end of August yet?

ETA: I almost forgot!! Margaret's labs came back just fine! Hooray!!! no concerns about elevated lead levels here!