Never Turns Out The Way You Planned...

Plans are changing again...

My parents' relationship is problematic right now. In retrospect, it probably wasn't a wise move to even consider moving in with them anyway. But I had hoped it would change. And in a way, it was like selling my soul to the devil (if I believed in such a thing). I wanted a way out of my job so I could stay home with Margaret, and that way was what presented itself. I should have known better.

What's taking even more courage, though, is that I am continuing with the plan to quit my job at the end of September. Except now, the money I'll be making as a Tastefully Simple consultant will be necessary instead of ancillary. That's scary. I'll have to work for my wages instead of just showing up every day and collecting a paycheck.

We're also considering our options in changing our living arrangements. Where we live now just isn't working for us. We may be able to buy a condo, but single family homes are priced outside of our range right now. But if we're going to TTC, we probably should wait to buy. If we have a girl, a 2 bedroom condo will be sufficient. If we have a boy, we're going to have to figure something else out as 3 bedroom condos are outside of our range. And while we could make a 2 bedroom work for a short while, I don't want to get into a situation that we would have to sell in a few years. Condos are long-term investments around here. We're on the verge of the market falling and condos are the first to drop - and when they drop, they DROP hard and fast. Therefore it has to be something we're willing to live in for a long while.

So once again, there's a lot going on and a million ideas going through my head every minute.

My poor head. That's another issue. I've been having migraines for about a week and a half now. Normally, I'll get 1 or 2 right before Aunt Flo arrives. But this is just ridiculous. I can't function. I can't concentrate. And I don't know why it's happening. It could be withdrawals from BCP since it's now been 1 week since I should have started a new pack. It could be stress. It could be anything. I hate taking medicine, but I've been forced to take Excedrin Migraine a few times now in order to get through the day. Like today. Then I worry if that's the right thing to do because...

...my cycle is doing something funky. Yes, it's the first cycle off of BCPs. Yes, we weren't trying yet. We didn't prevent, but the last BD day was supposed to be 6 days from O. But my temp shot up this morning. And it's only CD 11. Fluke? Could be. Ever since I started temping again, my sleep has been terrible. It's like Santa Claus Syndrome. I wake up frequently because I can't wait to temp. I have no control over myself...it just keeps on happening. But today's temp was definitely in the Post-O range so I'm a little freaked. If I already O'd, the last BD day was on CD 8, close enough to conceive. And while I really want to be pregnant, Brian isn't ready yet. All I can do at this point is wait and see...