Tomorrow.
I feel like such a slime. Worse than that. But I have no choice.
I did look at "just one more" daycare center on Friday. It was $185/week and the same distance from our house as the center we selected in April. I was not pleased. It was utter chaos as soon as I walked through the door. The first thing I noticed: a television set up with an X-box. Yes, we're years away from her using it, but it tells a lot about the focus of the child care provider. The staff were friendly, but it seemed like they couldn't keep up with the children in their care. I knew it wasn't the place for us almost immediately. But I went on with the tour, discovering that they were also not licensed for administering medication of any kind. That's a problem as Maggie must have gas drops with every feeding for her gas issues. The infant room was also rather cramped. They didn't have enough porta-cribs to go around, so there were even a couple plastic cots on the floor in the tiny space. I thanked them and was on my way, resigned to the fact that she would be going to the original center.
One thing stood out in my mind after the tour. There was a baby boy in the infant room that cried the whole time I was there. He was hoarse from having cried all day. It was his first day and it was 11:30AM when I was there. It broke my heart. Then it broke my heart all over again when I thought about how that could be Maggie come Monday. I will miss her fiercely and deep down inside, I want her to miss me, too...but I don't want her to be miserable. She would almost be better off if she didn't even realize I was gone. And how sad is that to come to a realization like that?
So I've packed her things and we're as ready to go as we'll ever be. Over and over again, the administrator assured me that I could call as many times as I wanted to check up on her. I was also reminded that I could come in and check on her. They really are great people over there. But then I wonder if going in to see her will make it worse for me. I originally planned on spending my lunches with her...but leaving her twice in one day may be my undoing. I'm not even sure calling would be good for me. It may make me obsess and worry more than if I just immersed myself in my work and got through the day as quickly as possible.
I'm so miserable...
Homemade Oatmeal Cream Pies
5 years ago
7 comments:
Holy spam, Batman! I just removed 6 spammer comments! UGH! Nothing is sacred anymore...
You will be in my thoughts tomorrow, Carrie. I know this is awful for you.
I meant to say, too, that the daycare you've chosen sounds great. She'll be in good hands!
Been thinking of you all day and wondering how the first day has been for both of you. Hope it all went wonderfully, as I'm sure it did.
And I'm with you on the spam! I've had tons recently!
Hoping it went well. Anxious to hear
I too remember the first day I dropped my baby girl in daycare-It broke my heart leaving her crying, but we had no choice...
She adjusted after a few days, we got used to the idea...and it got easier, but it is hard...
Good Luck
I hope it went well for you, Carrie! I remember the day I dropped my son off at daycare for the first time; I cried for a little while afterward. And seeing the empty infant carrier thingamajig in my rearview mirror didn't help. But 9 months later, he's really happy where he is, and he's one of the best socially adjusted one-year-olds I've seen (and that's not just a mother's bias -- loads of friends have said so as well!). It definitely gets easier...
Post a Comment