The Search Is On

I must be crazy. In a week and a half, I'm supposed to return to work. And while we secured daycare arrangements back in April, I'm looking for different arrangements. A couple things... First, the center we were supposed to bring her to increased their rates. She hasn't even started yet, but the rates have gone up. $210/week was already stretching our budget really thin; now it's $219/week. $9/week may not seem much, but we had very little left over as it is. Even this little bit is making me feel like we've stretched ourselves too thin now. Another thing is that, now that I've gotten to know Margaret, I feel terrible about leaving her. I want my little girl to get all the attention she wants...something that isn't very likely to happen at a daycare center where she would have to share the attention of her caregiver with 3 other infants.

What really triggered this though is that one of my aunts offered to watch Margaret for us...but she can only do it 1 or 2 days a week. I couldn't find anyone else in the family to take her for the other 2.5-3.5 days (I couldn't even get my mother to take the half day on Fridays!), so if I can find a provider who will take her part-time, that would help us save a little money and allow her to have at least some one-on-one care while I'm at work. It seems like the best solution since she will definitely need some sort of care during the day while we're at work (at least, until one of us can find a suitable night job).

Searching for care at the last minute is pretty silly though. I dread the calls I will be making later today. I hate making phone calls anyway, but now I feel like a total fool. It also seems like, whenever I have things all set, I always find a way to create more work for myself at the last minute. But I'm really no longer comfortable with the arrangements we have, so the best thing to do is look elsewhere. Hopefully, we can find something that will work out!

In other news, Margaret was consistently sleeping 6-7 hours a night...that is, except for tonight. Tonight, she went down at about 10PM and was up before 3AM looking for food. She also peed all over the place during the diaper change. I really must make sure I'm more awake before I take that diaper off. After polishing off her 6 ounces of formula, instead of obediently falling back asleep right away, she laid in her bouncy seat smiling at me. I know she's not capable of it at this point, but it was almost like she was taunting me. She thought it was pretty funny that I wanted her to go back to bed. Doesn't it figure? Here I am, an hour after this whole thing started and it seems like she's *finally* asleep. Maybe she'll make up for this nighttime setback by sleeping in this morning? A girl can hope and dream, right?