A Decision...

Brian and I were talking last night and we've come to a decision.

Ever since we lost our little angel last month, we've known we wanted more children and would try again. However, the timeline was always an issue. We were starting to feel like we were getting too old to be starting a family... at my age, my mother was on her way to her 3rd child, and his mother already had her 2nd. We didn't want to be *old* once our children finally left the house. Really, we wanted to be done with having our family by the time I turn 32... When we decided in May to start trying to have children, I jumped into charting because I knew that the chances of conceiving in any given month were only about 20%. On top of that, having PCOS can decrease ones chances of conceiving. Originally, we planned on starting trying in August or September, but once my doctor confirmed my suspicions of PCOS, we figured it would probably take several months if not more, so we started trying right away. Neither one of us expected me to get pregnant our first month trying. Ironically, now it's August leading into September, and we're back to square one. Anyway, back to the decision (I'm so scatterbrained!)... Instead of being so clinical about the process, as I have been so far, we're going to take a much more laid back approach of "it'll happen when it happens." It wasn't healthy for me to be consumed by the whole "baby-making business" as I was and it does put a strain on relationships. There's nothing like *demanding* sex because you may be ovulating and getting upset if your husband doesn't perform as expected...it's that side of trying to conceive that I would like to avoid this time. I'm still charting for now but I think I will back off on that once I finally get my period again. Of course, I paid for the VIP Gold access on Fertility Friend's website, so it is a bit of a waste of money, but our relationship is much more important than that.

This is a huge step for me--I'm such a planner--but it's also for the best. So here's hoping we are blessed with another baby at some point! (And that I can stick to my resolution!!)