Nausea, nausea, everywhere

Still pregnant! Scared, but still pregnant. My endo finally called yesterday to tell me that a week ago I tested a little pregnant. No way! SIGH. He did say that my hormone levels were great, thyroid function is fine, and he can't figure out why I had been losing clumps of hair for the 6 weeks prior to the bloodwork. In any case, he's handed me off to my OB, who will be seeing me on October 18th for my first prenatal visit.

I was worried last week when I got those first BFPs as I didn't feel pregnant. Only a day later the nausea started, and it's hit hard. I also had a raging sore throat last Tuesday which has turned into bronchitis. Viral, no less, so I can't really do anything but suffer. So I feel pukey and my nose is clogged...what fun! I think I went through this the last time I was pg, though. It will pass.

We looked at an unconventional 2 family house today. Nice neighborhood. 2 doors up from one of the branches of Maggie's pediatricians' offices, across the street from an elementary school, down the road from the health center and high school. Nice neighbors (we talked with one of them). Don't think we'll buy it though. It has great potential and I would love to see what the right person could do with it - but we can't afford to do what this house needs. It's a shame. Our apartment would have been the size of many houses with 7.5 rooms and 2 full bathrooms and 3 bedrooms. (The half room is this small bonus one with a low ceiling - storage?) It's a foreclosure that's been vacant for over a year. Badly in need of updating, a new roof, new furnace for one of the apartments, and who knows how the plumbing is. Some of the heat pipes definitely burst. I would love to have it, but we just can't do it right.

My father, BTW, disgusts me. I went to him after looking at this house asking for help and input. He wasn't supportive nor helpful. I give up on him. He tells me I never ask for help and wonders why. It's just not worth it.

Is it for real???

Am I seeing things?
What about this one? That was about 6.5 hours later...

In other news, after much deliberation (and my father's wishy-washiness) we are NOT moving in with my parents. But I'm moving forward with my other plans. I started my Tastefully Simple business and am now an Independent Consultant. I've had 2 parties so far and have 3 more booked, plus a book party! Just need to get a consistent schedule going so I can quit my regular job.

We're staying in our tiny apartment for now. We don't have any other options at this time. We may move into a 2 family with my FIL if he decides to buy one (at first we were going to buy it together, but he decided he'd rather buy it himself and have us rent from him). He has very specific criteria, though, and a very specific area he wants to live in which is NOT cheap. I don't know if this plan will ever come to fruition, but it's there. If it doesn't work out, we'll figure something else out in the spring. I will not move in the winter. I refuse to.

Margaret is growing every day! She now has quite the vocabulary and is too smart for her own good. She's shown some interest in potty training so we did buy her a musical potty of her own, but she tends to want to sit on it *after* she's already gone. At least she makes the connection.

My weight loss is at a stand-still. I have too much else going on right now to focus on that. I've maintained for over a month now and am still below my pre-preg weight, so I won't complain. Can't help myself with all this good food in the house! ;)

Sorry I haven't kept more up to date!

My Crazy Life

There's so much going on right now, and all of it changing every second, that it's hard to keep up! So after the situation in the previous post, I talked with my father and told him that I didn't want him to keep the house on our account. I told him he should sell it and take care of himself and what's best for him. We didn't get to talk after that. That was a week ago yesterday.

So Brian and I started looking at condos. Well, I started looking at condos. I found a couple that sounded great, but it turned out they were under contract. We did look at another one on Friday. Nice place, spacious, and plenty of room for us plus more kids. Nice neighborhood, too. But when I ran the numbers after we returned home, they didn't add up. We couldn't afford it, not right now.

My father was concerned with my new plans for buying, so he stopped by Saturday. He said he very much wanted to see me stay home with Margaret until she's in school full-time and he thought buying was a big mistake and would only bring us further from what we really want. So he insists upon us moving in.

I feel like I'm in that scene in "Wayne's World" when they're playing street hockey... "Game on!!!!"

It is a relief though. Now we're back to my consulting money being extra instead of necessary. So that's a lot less pressure. The clock is ticking down... I will go no further than the middle of October at my current job. That's one month longer than I originally planned on, but since we lost over a week in our plans over this confusion, it's probably for the best.

Meanwhile, my "Blast Off" party for Tastefully Simple has been scheduled. On August 26th, I'll be marking the beginning of a new career for me, a new life even. I have my first sales meeting this Wednesday, though. My sponsor is letting me tag along even though I'm not "official" yet.

Margaret continues to grow. I think she's had a growth spurt recently, actually. Shoes that fit only a couple of weeks ago are too small, and everyone is commenting on how much taller she looks. We've also returned to cloth diapering. Since we're trying to save money, there's no better way than ensuring I won't be throwing our money away with every diaper change. The transition back has been smooth thus far.

I'm now 3 DPO in my cycle. Even though Brian didn't want to try this month originally (and I probably shouldn't have due to being recently off of BCPs), in the end he came around and actively participated. :D Looks like there may be a chance, although my temps are a bit off for a few days due to needing a new battery in my BBT thermometer. Other signs do point to the fact that I've probably O'd already, though, so it's promising. Now I just need to get through the next 2 weeks!

Never Turns Out The Way You Planned...

Plans are changing again...

My parents' relationship is problematic right now. In retrospect, it probably wasn't a wise move to even consider moving in with them anyway. But I had hoped it would change. And in a way, it was like selling my soul to the devil (if I believed in such a thing). I wanted a way out of my job so I could stay home with Margaret, and that way was what presented itself. I should have known better.

What's taking even more courage, though, is that I am continuing with the plan to quit my job at the end of September. Except now, the money I'll be making as a Tastefully Simple consultant will be necessary instead of ancillary. That's scary. I'll have to work for my wages instead of just showing up every day and collecting a paycheck.

We're also considering our options in changing our living arrangements. Where we live now just isn't working for us. We may be able to buy a condo, but single family homes are priced outside of our range right now. But if we're going to TTC, we probably should wait to buy. If we have a girl, a 2 bedroom condo will be sufficient. If we have a boy, we're going to have to figure something else out as 3 bedroom condos are outside of our range. And while we could make a 2 bedroom work for a short while, I don't want to get into a situation that we would have to sell in a few years. Condos are long-term investments around here. We're on the verge of the market falling and condos are the first to drop - and when they drop, they DROP hard and fast. Therefore it has to be something we're willing to live in for a long while.

So once again, there's a lot going on and a million ideas going through my head every minute.

My poor head. That's another issue. I've been having migraines for about a week and a half now. Normally, I'll get 1 or 2 right before Aunt Flo arrives. But this is just ridiculous. I can't function. I can't concentrate. And I don't know why it's happening. It could be withdrawals from BCP since it's now been 1 week since I should have started a new pack. It could be stress. It could be anything. I hate taking medicine, but I've been forced to take Excedrin Migraine a few times now in order to get through the day. Like today. Then I worry if that's the right thing to do because...

...my cycle is doing something funky. Yes, it's the first cycle off of BCPs. Yes, we weren't trying yet. We didn't prevent, but the last BD day was supposed to be 6 days from O. But my temp shot up this morning. And it's only CD 11. Fluke? Could be. Ever since I started temping again, my sleep has been terrible. It's like Santa Claus Syndrome. I wake up frequently because I can't wait to temp. I have no control over myself...it just keeps on happening. But today's temp was definitely in the Post-O range so I'm a little freaked. If I already O'd, the last BD day was on CD 8, close enough to conceive. And while I really want to be pregnant, Brian isn't ready yet. All I can do at this point is wait and see...

Great Endo Appointment!

Today was my annual endocrinologist appointment and I must say, it went very well! They weighed me in at 193 with clothes and shoes on, and I weighed myself at 192.6 this morning, so it got off to a great start (you know, considering doctor's scales usually like to say you're 5 lbs heavier than you thought).

My endo was thrilled with my numbers on my labs and the fact that I've been losing weight. He seemed surprised that all I was doing was cutting calories and exercising more. I did tell him that I was eating fast food probably 4 times a week when I last saw him, though, and cutting that out would make a huge difference. My cholesterol levels came down so much he was sure I was on Lipitor or some other cholesterol drug. He said I will not have to go on Lipitor (if you recall, when I saw him last year my cholesterol was high and he told me he didn't want me waiting more than 2 years to get pregnant again as he wanted me on Lipitor - this is a HUGE relief!!!).

So, here are the numbers. The first # is from last year (7/21/2005) and the second # is from this year (7/13/2006):

Cholesterol (desirable: <200/high: >/= 240): 247 ~ 163
Triglycerides (normal: <150/high: 200-499): 255 ~ 148
HDL (>/=60 is Low Risk Factor/<40 is Major Risk Factor): 43 ~ 43
LDL (optimal: <100/Borderline High: 130-159): 153 ~ 90

I was absolutely thrilled! Even though I don't see a physical difference in me, it's obvious now that my overall health is being affected by the healthier lifestyle.

Alkaline Phosphatase (50-136): 137 ~ 61
Not sure what that one is, but it came down a lot, too.

Here's an interesting one:
Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (8-112): 54 ~ 288
Even though that's high, he said it was a good thing because it's keeping me from having any free testosterone (yes, that was zero, which is excellent when you have PCOS). He said because of this, it should be easy to get pregnant. His exact words were that I should be able to get pregnant "like, tomorrow".

That, of course, tempts me even more....

He said that he doesn't think the migraines, hot flashes, and ill feeling I've been having for the last several days are withdrawals from BCP. Since yesterday was supposed to be the 1st day of a new pack, it's too soon for that to be the cause. Anyway, his first response was "Are you pregnant?" Not possible... BD timing was off by a week from when I would have ovulated, had I ovulated, and besides...I've been bleeding for 5 days now!

In any case, I go back in 3 months and he ordered a pregnancy test as part of that bloodwork and expects it to come back positive. :D

He really is such a great doctor! He told me to keep up with whatever I'm doing because I'm doing a great job.

It was just the motivation I needed. I came home and went for a great walk with Maggie and Becky and burned 389 calories.

Stupid Scales

As of yesterday morning, with only 1 week to go to my 1st big weight loss goal, I found myself only 1.4 lbs away from my goal. Then we bought a new scale. Now I'm 2.6 lbs away. Stupid scale. And who knows how long it's been wrong... but now I've only lost 26 lbs instead of the 27 lbs I thought I lost. And a much bigger loss needed for the next week to get to my goal.

Then...another 15 lbs to lose so we can start TTC. I don't want to wait, but I really should anyway. Need some time to get the BCP hormones out of my system. And I want to get some more distance between me and the 200 lb mark. I NEVER want to go over 200 lbs again, not even due to pregnancy.

Thanks for all your help with thoughts on which company I should consult for. I've decided to go with Tastefully Simple. It helps that my friend would be my sponsor instead of a complete stranger. We're planning on having my Launch Off party in 3 weeks when I'll officially start being a consultant. That will give me some time to get a little more comfortable being a consultant before I quit my job. I'm SCARED TO DEATH of doing this. I get so nervous in front of a crowd. But it's worth it. I get to be my own boss, make my own hours, and stay home during the day with Margaret. So I'll find a way to make it work. I was terrified of going to work the 1st day of the job I have now. I almost didn't even go in that first day. But I did, and I got used to it. (Some would say "and look where it got you?"... but it has been 8 years since that first day and most people don't stay at the same job that long these days.)

Now if only they would get to work on renovating my parents' house. My parents are on vacation for the next week so no work will be done during that time. Then he's supposed to see about getting all the carpeting ripped up and hardwood floors put down throughout the house, then finishing the basement. I'm starting to think his October 1st estimate is optimistic. But I guess even if he's a few weeks late, we'll make it work. No matter what, I'm putting in my notice during September. Enough is enough.

Too True!

You HAVE to check this out! I couldn't stop laughing!

Mom-101: Too Young For Chutes and Ladders, Too Old To Just Sit There While You Drink