Hug Your Little One Every Day

Who knows how much time we have on this earth... Hug your little one every day. After going through a long illness with Margaret, and finally seeing her happy face for more than a day or two, I've really begun to appreciate good health. And of course, show how grateful I am for her with lots of hugs and kisses every day. The housework can wait. Sharing your love cannot.

I know it's common sense... but we do manage to get caught up in the day to day junk and it's easy to inadvertantly cut back on affection. Don't! Both of you will be grateful and better people if you share that love.

Yes, I'm being sappy. I think my crummy reunion made me refocus my energies and appreciate more the things in life that really are important. I spent most of yesterday just cuddling with Margaret, showering her in kisses. And this evening, after work and her nap, I enjoyed getting drooled all over while we spent our quality time together. (Well, the drool not so much, but the fact that I had her with me made up for it.) I'm feeling again like I did before I went back to work and I don't want that feeling to go away again.

Way Back Weekend

We spent the weekend on a trip down memory lane. Wednesday night was Brian's 10 year high school reunion, and mine was Saturday night. While Brian highly anticipated his, I almost didn't even go to mine. I didn't exactly "fit in" in high school. But in the end, curiosity got the best of me and I signed up to go only one week before the event.

Attending someone else's reunion can be pretty boring. I only knew one person at Brian's school, and we weren't exactly great friends. Fortunately, his was hosted at a brewery and there was open bar. The food, also, was fantastic. Otherwise, I pretty much stood by his side, nodding my head a lot. I did wonder why he didn't keep in touch with a few of the people from his class... but I know that Brian and I are just those sorts of people. We mostly keep to ourselves.

My reunion was something right out of a 1980s John Hughes movie. It was hosted at a wedding reception/special events facility and it was far fancier than we anticipated. I think we were a little under-dressed, but who cares. As soon as we entered, you could see it was no different than high school. The cliques were alive and kicking. Everyone stuck to their little groups and barely made eye contact with anyone who didn't belong. Out of a class of 234 students (give or take), only about 100 people came, including spouses. My worst fear was that nobody with whom I used to converse would show up, and it wasn't far from that. Only a handful of people were there that I felt comfortable talking to, and they all left early. By 10PM, we snuck out the door. The food was pretty good, at least, but I could have found better things to spend the $80 on.

Brian says I would have wondered all the rest of my life about it if I didn't go. I don't know about that. He may be right... But since my class made up a Power Point presentation of what everyone had been up to, and they'll be emailing it out, I really could have found out what my former classmates were up to without attending anyway. Deep down inside, I did hope that some of the mean girls had ballooned and gotten some justice. Instead, most of them were *thinner* than in high school (read: anorexic thin). Only 1 girl (aside from myself) was noticably larger than she was in h.s., and I never had any problems with her. Some of the guys had put on a few pounds, but again, no big deal. I didn't feel anyone had been a recipient of karma. And the cliquiest of the cliques were certainly unchanged. Either totally blasted or high, they provided some entertainment (taking me back to the old high school dance days when they were all in the same mental state) but again, no huge failures. Am I evil for wishing some of them did? I was tormented for much of my high school career, for no reason other than I was different... Aren't I allowed some satisfaction? Apparently, not.

In any case, I've been cured of the reunion bug. Never again for me. It just made me feel like that anxious girl I used to be who tried so hard to fit in. I don't like that me and I don't want to be her again.

Negligent in my blogger duties!

I've been so terrible about updating lately... There's just no time!

In any case, I ended up going home sick from work on Thursday, November 17th. I went straight to the walk-in clinic, sure that I had a sinus infection. My head felt ready to explode and I was having so much pain behind my eyes, my ears hurt, my brain was all fuzzy, and I couldn't concentrate on anything. Normally, I wait out sinus infections. But they usually don't go entirely to my head like that. It was painful and somewhat scary. In any case, they put me on amoxicillin. Brian thought that was funny. He pointed out to Margaret that Mommy doesn't spit out her amoxicillin.

Margaret is mostly back to herself. She did sleep through the night...for about 3 nights. Today it was back to waking at 3:30AM, though. I wonder why she chooses that time? Even when I was pregnant, she tended to wake me around then... She was asleep again before 4AM, but I probably only managed an additional 15-20 minutes of sleep. No wonder why I'm sick all the time lately.

Which brings me to a little vent. No flu shot for me this year. My winters had gotten so much healthier once I started getting the flu shot. And I have asthma, so I'm high risk anyway. The problem: neither my primary care provider nor my allergist offer flu shots. The first year I got one was at a clinic at a local grocery store. This year, they canceled all their clinics. The second year was when I was pregnant, so my OB's office gave it to me. I called them this year and they told me they were only giving it to high risk patients. I told them I have asthma and therefore am high risk, plus I have a 5 month old in the house. They then backtracked and said it's only for their OB patients. I tried that I was an OB patient not too long ago, but she wouldn't budge. Bugger. The clinics that are left are all during my work day. I can leave work for a doctor's appointment, but not a clinic. So I guess I'll have to live without it this winter... And hope that nothing happens between now and when Margaret gets her flu shot next month.

Can you believe there's only about a month left until Christmas? People have started pestering us with what we want for Christmas. Really, we don't need any *things*. But a few extra hours of sleep would be nice.

Is It Just Me?

Slowly but surely, Margaret is getting better. She's not coughing as much, and her coughs aren't as phlegmy. She's sleeping better, too. Not through the night still (I miss those days!!) but better than she was in the weeks before. She did, of course, share her cold with me. I'm pretty miserable. It's some kind of weird head cold that's making me feel congested and nauseous all the time. And I'm still not getting much sleep, so that doesn't help. But I make do. At least Margaret is smiling again. :)

I'm starting to really HATE where we live. It's bad enough that the tenants above us are pretty noisy. But now we're having inconsideration issues with our *landlord*. I honestly think it's all a ploy to get us to move. He keeps throwing hissy fits about the garage, to which we are entitled full use in the lease we all signed 2 years ago. The landlord was considering buying our old washer and dryer off of us (to give the washer to the people who stole it from us last month {SIGH}). He wanted to try the dryer first, which was fine...but he didn't hook up our exhaust again when he was done, so I had to get Brian to fix that so I could use our dryer again. Then today I went down to do laundry, and found that he was using *our* extension cord hooked up to *our* electric for the hallway renovations. Nevermind that the 3rd floor has *2* outlets closer to where he needs the electric. Nope, it's hooked up to ours above the washer. And let's not forget that he's using our extension cord *without asking*. This really ticks me off. I'm peeved about the electric as it is...no wonder why our bills have been so high! But to go and take something that doesn't belong to you and just use it, and then leave the cord out so it's obvious that you've been using it (it was still uncoiled and extended up the basement stairs), is over the line in my book. Yes, it's a little petty thing. But the little petty things keep adding up. And I'm getting really sick of people just using my stuff because it's in the basement!!!! I want to move so badly. But to move would be to empty our bank account, since we only have enough in there to basically cover 2 months' rent. Having no back-up money when you have a baby can be disastrous.

{SIGH} Can I just crawl up under the covers in bed and forget about everything? I'm so tired of dealing with all this crap...

Experiments in Sleep Deprivation

Dead tired. I got 3 hours of sleep last night. Total, not consecutively. I don't even remember getting dressed this morning.

Margaret still has fluid in her ears. The doctor's not sure if it's still draining or if she still has an ear infection (since he wasn't the one to diagnose her originally) so we have to wait 2 more weeks and go back for another follow-up. If she gets worse in the meantime, he'll call in a script for another round of antibiotics. But he'd prefer to wait and see rather than have us possibly use them unnecessarily. He also suggested switching to Dimetapp for Margaret's congestion. He wasn't concerned about her chest congestion. Of course, it figures that she didn't cough at all when he was in the room. But he did listen very thoroughly to her lungs.

I almost called this morning. In the grand fashion that started almost a month ago now, Margaret once again did not sleep through the night. Not even close. It took until nearly 10:30PM to get her to bed. Then she woke up at 1AM fussing, and giving her the pacifier didn't work, so I had to rock her back to sleep. I think that took 30 or 40 minutes. Around 3AM, she woke up again. This time, she got herself thoroughly worked up, screaming bloody murder. Brian got up with her originally, but when I heard the shrill screams and him muttering "shut up" I got up out of bed and gave her some infant's Advil. She clearly sounded like she was in pain. It took until 4:10AM for her to fall back asleep again, and she would only sleep in her bouncy seat. So I had to camp out on the couch, as I didn't want to leave her unattended in it. 2 hours later, I awoke with a sore neck, but a (fortunately) still sleeping baby. She made it until 6:40AM before waking on her own. Mind you, she used to sleep 9:30/10PM until about 6:40AM every day, straight through, for over 2 months. This is killing me. And it can't be all that healthy for her, especially since she only takes a few half hour naps a day at daycare, and maybe one 1-2 hour nap when I'm home with her. (SIGH)

About 10 minutes before we had to leave, she also vomitted all over herself and her Exersaucer. I'm too tired to be dealing with this sort of thing with a clear head. It's a good thing Brian was running late and hadn't left for work yet.

Yes, she's at daycare. I can't stay home with her again. We're under a lot of pressure at work right now and I know I'm already on the list for all the time I've missed already because of Margaret's illnesses. If they send her home from daycare, fine, then work can't argue with that. But I couldn't stay home. (They're still renovating the hallway anyway, so it's not like it would be a restful day.)

Just to spite me, I think, Margaret gave the biggest grin to her teacher when I dropped her off this morning. Like she was a well-rested, happy, healthy child...like it was all a figment of my imagination. Wonderful.

Things That Make You Sigh

(SIGH) We have a sick baby again. Well, she never really got over her stuffy nose and cough, but it's gotten worse in the last 24 hours. It's a good thing she's going to the doctor tomorrow. Even daycare told me she was cranky all day, which she never is cranky there. When I got her home, it was the screaming fits all over again. I gave her some infant Advil and PediaSure and now she's conked out resting. I don't know what she could have that would get worse like that, especially after she had been on antibiotics for 10 days. But it's certainly making her miserable again.

In the general fashion of "when it rains, it pours," we're having landlord issues again. For the most part, we never hear from him. I haven't even ever met him; I haven't a clue what the guy looks like. I like it that way. Last December, he gave us a hard time about the garage - the garage that our lease says we have full use of. He tried to force us to let the 2nd floor tenant park his ATV in there (an ATV that was, at least according to the lease that I wrote and they were under originally, banned from the premises). He tried to tell us that we didn't, and even when Brian explained that there wasn't any room anyway, he insisted upon coming out to see for himself. In the meantime, I talked with our attorney about. He agreed with me in that the lease said we have the entire use of the garage; we do not have to share it. Oddly, we never heard from the landlord again about that issue... I don't know if he spoke with his own attorney or what. But he didn't bring it up again. Then the renovations started several weeks ago. I can't stay home during the day because they've been working on gutting the hallway. There's plaster dust everywhere (including all over my vacuum, which was stored in the stairway to the basement - an area where they weren't supposed to be working). I can't even do laundry necessarily when I want to because the accessway is through the hallway that's being renovated. Now, on top of that disruption, we got a call today from the landlord that he wants us to leave the garage unlocked because they're painting the doors to the garage and he wants to store the sheetrock in there while they work on the hallway. I really didn't want to revisit this, especially now. So Brian called him back and explained to him that there isn't any room in the garage for the sheetrock. Apparently, that pissed the landlord off because he got all huffy and hung up on Brian. I have a horrible feeling about this... And the timing couldn't be worse. With Margaret being sick, and me in a sleep-deprived state (as she's still not back to sleeping fully through the night) the last thing I need to worry about is a battle of the minds with the landlord. And I really can't afford to move right now. (Not to mention I can't even fathom having to deal with that... I can't even manage to keep up with the dishes lately! I don't want to have to move, even if I'm not happy here.)

(SIGH)

Back To Normal

Sorry to leave everyone hanging like that! It got to be quite a busy week!

Tuesday Margaret started acting more like her old self again. Smiles were abundant and she was in a playful mood. It came just in time, as I wasn't sure how much more I could take of the changeling child we had. The happy mood continued throughout the rest of the week, leading me to believe that our old Margaret is back. Given the timing, it could be that her ears were still bothering her until then. But I'm not a doctor. In any case, she has a cold (stuffy nose, chest congestion, and cough) but she's happy. She goes back this Tuesday for a follow-up with her pediatricians to make sure her ears are all clear again.

Margaret appears to be loving her apples. She gets all excited and tries to feed herself. If I'm not careful, she'll grab onto my arm with both of her hands and try to direct the spoon into her mouth. Usually, her aim is a little off. It doesn't help that in her excitement, she tends to move her head to the side *just* before the spoon gets to her mouth. I find myself holding one hand the whole time so I can maintain some control over the situation. But at least she's enjoying it! We did apples all last week and I plan on introducing sweet potatoes this week. Personally, I'm not a fan. But she has to give them a shot.

Cloth diapering is going well. We only used 1 disposable all weekend. During the week, she's in cloth from when she gets home from daycare until the next morning. It's really pretty easy. The only complication is that I don't have many yet so on the weekends, I have to wash every day. But other than that, I'm impressed. Besides, with all the cute options out there, how could I resist? ;)

I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I know joints loosen up during pregnancy, but mine are still pretty loose. My joints crack and creak often, something that rarely happened before I got pregnant. It doesn't hurt when it happens, but the sound of it freaks me out. Normal? Who knows. As long as it's not causing any pain, I read, I shouldn't worry. It's still weird.

My father asked me today when I would have another child. I asked him when I would be moving in. I was joking, however, he wants to have a talk with me tomorrow about our finances. See where my big mouth lands me!