Tough Decisions

I heard back from the mortgage company today! We can get the mortgage. But now that I have actual figures to work with, in addition to obtaining the sewer, water, and garbage fee information this afternoon, it's not looking so good anymore. I love the house. But it looks like the time isn't right for us right now. Brian took the news hard. I guess he had grown more attached to it than I had. But I had to go with my gut, and my gut says that we would be getting in well over our heads if we went ahead with buying the house, even if the bank would give us the loan.

So we're back to our original plans. I'll finish up the year with my job, then resign at the beginning of January. By that time, I should hopefully have a consistent party schedule with Tastefully Simple. We'll stay in our current apartment through the winter. In the meantime, we'll pay down our debts and try to put aside some money in savings, too. We can re-evaluate our options in the spring.

Baby-to-be is apparently getting comfortable. I had cramping last night, and major AF-like cramping/backaches today. Now I'm feeling those burrowing-in type of pains, too. No bleeding. 20 days until my first prenatal appointment. I took the day off from work so I don't have to worry about rushing back or accidentally letting the news slip.

Though I did tell the director of Maggie's daycare today. To be fair, she was friends with my Dad from waaaaaay back. Heck, she attended my parents' wedding! So we talk a lot. She was telling me what a spirited, opinionated, stubborn little girl I have :) and then said it's about time for another one. I couldn't help it. I told her, but I did say that we're not making it widely known yet. She was so happy she gave me a huge hug. Of course, she has no idea at this point that I will be withdrawing Maggie eventually. But it was kind of nice to receive congrats from someone, especially since my family wasn't even that happy for me (though Brian's was).

Waiting...

Still waiting for news on the mortgage. I ended up having to actually apply in order to get more info out of them. So far as I can tell, the house is still on the market. I only hope we're not jumping through all of these hoops for nothing.

Poor Maggie. She's been sick for a while now with a runny nose and cough. You know, that nondescript stuff that could be anything. We were initially told it was a virus and treated it as such. But now it seems like it could be her asthma is acting up again. Most of her coughing is when she's supposed to be sleeping, which was the main symptom when we first discovered that she has this issue. Unfortunately, it takes 2 weeks for the Flovent to start doing its job so it could be a little bit until she's feeling better. She has a "well baby" visit on Friday so she'll see her doctor anyway. Now she just has to make it through the week. Some may consider me to be under-reacting, but I don't want to overuse antibiotics either. I've spent entire winters coughing and having a runny nose, so it also doesn't seem all that crazy to me that there could be a lingering virus. I just don't see any need to go crazy under the circumstances. I can only hope they (as in Maggie's daycare providers, since they've been dealing with this, too) don't consider me a negligent parent.

My Tastefully Simple sponsor and I ended up not participating in the Fall Festival yesterday. The weather was supposed to be *horrendous* so we decided it wasn't worth setting up only to get stuck in a torrential downpour and thunderstorm. There's only one problem: the rain really never came. Wasted opportunity. Anybody want to have a party? It will be a while before I have a chance to book any others...

Just Pull My Teeth Out, Please!!

This lovely illness that I have been suffering with for nearly 2 weeks now has become sinusitis. I know because my teeth are now killing me due to the nearby sinuses being infected. Nothing makes it stop either. Not Tylenol. Not fluids. Cold foods make me cringe. Any foods, for that matter, as it hurts to eat. Just pull the darn teeth out, would you please? I started a Z-pack yesterday but I imagine it will be another day or so before I start feeling better.

I've realized that I have become far too attached to the house we've been looking at. We haven't put in an offer yet because we're still waiting to hear back from the broker about the details of the rehab mortgage program. And yet, I find myself thinking of how wonderful it would be to have a 15 foot tree in the chalet room this Yule. Or where I'm going to set up my office for Tastefully Simple. Or how I'm going to decorate the baby's room. But we don't have an offer in... and what we're willing to pay, at most, is at least $30K less than asking price by the bank that foreclosed on it. I need to stop because I'm going to be really disappointed if this doesn't pan out!

Crisis Averted...?

The spotting stopped, as did the cramping. Hopefully that's a good sign. There are millions of things that could cause spotting and cramping. But when you've suffered a miscarriage before, there's only one thing that consumes you during a bout like this - loss. I was devastated last night. I'm still a bit numb today. Hoping for the best, but I have to keep reminding myself that I have no control over the situation. It is out of my hands.

I did find this entry from my pregnancy with Margaret, though:
October 29, 2004
I was 6 weeks pregnant (if I'm counting correctly) when that occurred. So there can be a successful pregnancy even with spotting. But right now, it's really hard to focus on that.

.....

I sit here in the dark on my bed typing on my iBook listening to Margaret babble away in the kitchen. Brian has taken over morning duties for me today so I can rest up. Of course, all that separates us is a door, and not a very insultated one. They may as well be in the same room for all that I hear. But it's amazing how grown up Maggie is already. She may not make much sense, but she's having a full conversation in there and an adult-like interaction. The time goes by too quickly.

It May Be Over Already...

Woke up from my evening nap to cramping and pink spotting... This may be over before it's really begun...

5 Weeks Down, 35 To Go...

That number seems so small. Too far to go. I don't want to be afraid though. It doesn't change anything. And I have had a successful pregnancy, so why should I be worried now? Well, we all know why. That fear never goes away. I'm thinking of sharing the news with everyone though as a way of sort of sticking it in Fear's face.

Today I rejoined the rat race. My head is clogged, ears hurt, and I'm still coughing up phlegm. But I couldn't stay home forever. Fortunately, we only work until 12:30PM on Fridays.

I spent the afternoon before picking Margaret up running some errands for the house. Yesterday I ran some numbers to figure out what it will cost us to fix it. Today I spoke with a mortgage broker. He is referring me to an expert in rehab mortgages, who unfortunately will not be able to get back to me until Monday. But he said the house sounded like a good candidate for the program and after going over the preliminaries, he didn't see any reason why we couldn't get a mortgage. That was good news! Just to be thorough, I also spoke with our insurance agent this afternoon about getting a quote for the house. Multifamilies are awful for insurance because of the liability. Hopefully, it won't be as bad with a 2 family house as it was when we owned the 3 family house. We're still not entirely sure if we're going to go for it. But at least we're doing the homework so we can make an informed decision.

Here's the house, BTW:


It's not the best angle, but the sun was in the wrong direction to get a great front door photo.

I'm off. I'm beat. It's been a long day back in the real world. And I have a lot to do tomorrow. I'm working at a local fall festival on Saturday promoting Tastefully Simple (in hopes of getting some more contacts and bookings) and I need to make my samples tomorrow.

Nausea, nausea, everywhere

Still pregnant! Scared, but still pregnant. My endo finally called yesterday to tell me that a week ago I tested a little pregnant. No way! SIGH. He did say that my hormone levels were great, thyroid function is fine, and he can't figure out why I had been losing clumps of hair for the 6 weeks prior to the bloodwork. In any case, he's handed me off to my OB, who will be seeing me on October 18th for my first prenatal visit.

I was worried last week when I got those first BFPs as I didn't feel pregnant. Only a day later the nausea started, and it's hit hard. I also had a raging sore throat last Tuesday which has turned into bronchitis. Viral, no less, so I can't really do anything but suffer. So I feel pukey and my nose is clogged...what fun! I think I went through this the last time I was pg, though. It will pass.

We looked at an unconventional 2 family house today. Nice neighborhood. 2 doors up from one of the branches of Maggie's pediatricians' offices, across the street from an elementary school, down the road from the health center and high school. Nice neighbors (we talked with one of them). Don't think we'll buy it though. It has great potential and I would love to see what the right person could do with it - but we can't afford to do what this house needs. It's a shame. Our apartment would have been the size of many houses with 7.5 rooms and 2 full bathrooms and 3 bedrooms. (The half room is this small bonus one with a low ceiling - storage?) It's a foreclosure that's been vacant for over a year. Badly in need of updating, a new roof, new furnace for one of the apartments, and who knows how the plumbing is. Some of the heat pipes definitely burst. I would love to have it, but we just can't do it right.

My father, BTW, disgusts me. I went to him after looking at this house asking for help and input. He wasn't supportive nor helpful. I give up on him. He tells me I never ask for help and wonders why. It's just not worth it.

Is it for real???

Am I seeing things?
What about this one? That was about 6.5 hours later...

In other news, after much deliberation (and my father's wishy-washiness) we are NOT moving in with my parents. But I'm moving forward with my other plans. I started my Tastefully Simple business and am now an Independent Consultant. I've had 2 parties so far and have 3 more booked, plus a book party! Just need to get a consistent schedule going so I can quit my regular job.

We're staying in our tiny apartment for now. We don't have any other options at this time. We may move into a 2 family with my FIL if he decides to buy one (at first we were going to buy it together, but he decided he'd rather buy it himself and have us rent from him). He has very specific criteria, though, and a very specific area he wants to live in which is NOT cheap. I don't know if this plan will ever come to fruition, but it's there. If it doesn't work out, we'll figure something else out in the spring. I will not move in the winter. I refuse to.

Margaret is growing every day! She now has quite the vocabulary and is too smart for her own good. She's shown some interest in potty training so we did buy her a musical potty of her own, but she tends to want to sit on it *after* she's already gone. At least she makes the connection.

My weight loss is at a stand-still. I have too much else going on right now to focus on that. I've maintained for over a month now and am still below my pre-preg weight, so I won't complain. Can't help myself with all this good food in the house! ;)

Sorry I haven't kept more up to date!