Just Pull My Teeth Out, Please!!

This lovely illness that I have been suffering with for nearly 2 weeks now has become sinusitis. I know because my teeth are now killing me due to the nearby sinuses being infected. Nothing makes it stop either. Not Tylenol. Not fluids. Cold foods make me cringe. Any foods, for that matter, as it hurts to eat. Just pull the darn teeth out, would you please? I started a Z-pack yesterday but I imagine it will be another day or so before I start feeling better.

I've realized that I have become far too attached to the house we've been looking at. We haven't put in an offer yet because we're still waiting to hear back from the broker about the details of the rehab mortgage program. And yet, I find myself thinking of how wonderful it would be to have a 15 foot tree in the chalet room this Yule. Or where I'm going to set up my office for Tastefully Simple. Or how I'm going to decorate the baby's room. But we don't have an offer in... and what we're willing to pay, at most, is at least $30K less than asking price by the bank that foreclosed on it. I need to stop because I'm going to be really disappointed if this doesn't pan out!

Crisis Averted...?

The spotting stopped, as did the cramping. Hopefully that's a good sign. There are millions of things that could cause spotting and cramping. But when you've suffered a miscarriage before, there's only one thing that consumes you during a bout like this - loss. I was devastated last night. I'm still a bit numb today. Hoping for the best, but I have to keep reminding myself that I have no control over the situation. It is out of my hands.

I did find this entry from my pregnancy with Margaret, though:
October 29, 2004
I was 6 weeks pregnant (if I'm counting correctly) when that occurred. So there can be a successful pregnancy even with spotting. But right now, it's really hard to focus on that.

.....

I sit here in the dark on my bed typing on my iBook listening to Margaret babble away in the kitchen. Brian has taken over morning duties for me today so I can rest up. Of course, all that separates us is a door, and not a very insultated one. They may as well be in the same room for all that I hear. But it's amazing how grown up Maggie is already. She may not make much sense, but she's having a full conversation in there and an adult-like interaction. The time goes by too quickly.

It May Be Over Already...

Woke up from my evening nap to cramping and pink spotting... This may be over before it's really begun...

5 Weeks Down, 35 To Go...

That number seems so small. Too far to go. I don't want to be afraid though. It doesn't change anything. And I have had a successful pregnancy, so why should I be worried now? Well, we all know why. That fear never goes away. I'm thinking of sharing the news with everyone though as a way of sort of sticking it in Fear's face.

Today I rejoined the rat race. My head is clogged, ears hurt, and I'm still coughing up phlegm. But I couldn't stay home forever. Fortunately, we only work until 12:30PM on Fridays.

I spent the afternoon before picking Margaret up running some errands for the house. Yesterday I ran some numbers to figure out what it will cost us to fix it. Today I spoke with a mortgage broker. He is referring me to an expert in rehab mortgages, who unfortunately will not be able to get back to me until Monday. But he said the house sounded like a good candidate for the program and after going over the preliminaries, he didn't see any reason why we couldn't get a mortgage. That was good news! Just to be thorough, I also spoke with our insurance agent this afternoon about getting a quote for the house. Multifamilies are awful for insurance because of the liability. Hopefully, it won't be as bad with a 2 family house as it was when we owned the 3 family house. We're still not entirely sure if we're going to go for it. But at least we're doing the homework so we can make an informed decision.

Here's the house, BTW:


It's not the best angle, but the sun was in the wrong direction to get a great front door photo.

I'm off. I'm beat. It's been a long day back in the real world. And I have a lot to do tomorrow. I'm working at a local fall festival on Saturday promoting Tastefully Simple (in hopes of getting some more contacts and bookings) and I need to make my samples tomorrow.

Nausea, nausea, everywhere

Still pregnant! Scared, but still pregnant. My endo finally called yesterday to tell me that a week ago I tested a little pregnant. No way! SIGH. He did say that my hormone levels were great, thyroid function is fine, and he can't figure out why I had been losing clumps of hair for the 6 weeks prior to the bloodwork. In any case, he's handed me off to my OB, who will be seeing me on October 18th for my first prenatal visit.

I was worried last week when I got those first BFPs as I didn't feel pregnant. Only a day later the nausea started, and it's hit hard. I also had a raging sore throat last Tuesday which has turned into bronchitis. Viral, no less, so I can't really do anything but suffer. So I feel pukey and my nose is clogged...what fun! I think I went through this the last time I was pg, though. It will pass.

We looked at an unconventional 2 family house today. Nice neighborhood. 2 doors up from one of the branches of Maggie's pediatricians' offices, across the street from an elementary school, down the road from the health center and high school. Nice neighbors (we talked with one of them). Don't think we'll buy it though. It has great potential and I would love to see what the right person could do with it - but we can't afford to do what this house needs. It's a shame. Our apartment would have been the size of many houses with 7.5 rooms and 2 full bathrooms and 3 bedrooms. (The half room is this small bonus one with a low ceiling - storage?) It's a foreclosure that's been vacant for over a year. Badly in need of updating, a new roof, new furnace for one of the apartments, and who knows how the plumbing is. Some of the heat pipes definitely burst. I would love to have it, but we just can't do it right.

My father, BTW, disgusts me. I went to him after looking at this house asking for help and input. He wasn't supportive nor helpful. I give up on him. He tells me I never ask for help and wonders why. It's just not worth it.

Is it for real???

Am I seeing things?
What about this one? That was about 6.5 hours later...

In other news, after much deliberation (and my father's wishy-washiness) we are NOT moving in with my parents. But I'm moving forward with my other plans. I started my Tastefully Simple business and am now an Independent Consultant. I've had 2 parties so far and have 3 more booked, plus a book party! Just need to get a consistent schedule going so I can quit my regular job.

We're staying in our tiny apartment for now. We don't have any other options at this time. We may move into a 2 family with my FIL if he decides to buy one (at first we were going to buy it together, but he decided he'd rather buy it himself and have us rent from him). He has very specific criteria, though, and a very specific area he wants to live in which is NOT cheap. I don't know if this plan will ever come to fruition, but it's there. If it doesn't work out, we'll figure something else out in the spring. I will not move in the winter. I refuse to.

Margaret is growing every day! She now has quite the vocabulary and is too smart for her own good. She's shown some interest in potty training so we did buy her a musical potty of her own, but she tends to want to sit on it *after* she's already gone. At least she makes the connection.

My weight loss is at a stand-still. I have too much else going on right now to focus on that. I've maintained for over a month now and am still below my pre-preg weight, so I won't complain. Can't help myself with all this good food in the house! ;)

Sorry I haven't kept more up to date!

My Crazy Life

There's so much going on right now, and all of it changing every second, that it's hard to keep up! So after the situation in the previous post, I talked with my father and told him that I didn't want him to keep the house on our account. I told him he should sell it and take care of himself and what's best for him. We didn't get to talk after that. That was a week ago yesterday.

So Brian and I started looking at condos. Well, I started looking at condos. I found a couple that sounded great, but it turned out they were under contract. We did look at another one on Friday. Nice place, spacious, and plenty of room for us plus more kids. Nice neighborhood, too. But when I ran the numbers after we returned home, they didn't add up. We couldn't afford it, not right now.

My father was concerned with my new plans for buying, so he stopped by Saturday. He said he very much wanted to see me stay home with Margaret until she's in school full-time and he thought buying was a big mistake and would only bring us further from what we really want. So he insists upon us moving in.

I feel like I'm in that scene in "Wayne's World" when they're playing street hockey... "Game on!!!!"

It is a relief though. Now we're back to my consulting money being extra instead of necessary. So that's a lot less pressure. The clock is ticking down... I will go no further than the middle of October at my current job. That's one month longer than I originally planned on, but since we lost over a week in our plans over this confusion, it's probably for the best.

Meanwhile, my "Blast Off" party for Tastefully Simple has been scheduled. On August 26th, I'll be marking the beginning of a new career for me, a new life even. I have my first sales meeting this Wednesday, though. My sponsor is letting me tag along even though I'm not "official" yet.

Margaret continues to grow. I think she's had a growth spurt recently, actually. Shoes that fit only a couple of weeks ago are too small, and everyone is commenting on how much taller she looks. We've also returned to cloth diapering. Since we're trying to save money, there's no better way than ensuring I won't be throwing our money away with every diaper change. The transition back has been smooth thus far.

I'm now 3 DPO in my cycle. Even though Brian didn't want to try this month originally (and I probably shouldn't have due to being recently off of BCPs), in the end he came around and actively participated. :D Looks like there may be a chance, although my temps are a bit off for a few days due to needing a new battery in my BBT thermometer. Other signs do point to the fact that I've probably O'd already, though, so it's promising. Now I just need to get through the next 2 weeks!